Merry Cara-melodies

Story Sent in by Robert:

Under the part of Adeline's profile where it asked for favorite food, she put down caramel and ice cream. That sounded like my kind of woman. But when we went out to ice cream for our first date I found out how into caramel she really was. We each ordered small cups and she had an entire tube of caramel with her that she almost completely emptied onto her ice cream. And boy did she ever dive right into it.

That wouldn't have been too strange if not for the fact that we were planning to do lunch afterward. It was my idea to do ice cream first because she had said that she liked it so much. I thought it was a good idea. But after the ice cream experience I didn't think she'd be hungry for lunch. But she was.

We both went to a place and ordered salads. And you guessed it: she pulled out another tube of caramel and splattered it all over her salad. "The secret to good-tasting salad is caramel!" was her excuse. Dude, she even poured it into her Bloody Mary. I can't imagine how it tasted.

Throughout all of this I didn't say a word. I'm sure I gave her a strange look or two but that was it. Still, she picked up on it and asked, "Are you one of those guys who has a problem with caramel?"

I said, "No. It's just strange to see you using it on everything."

She shrugged. "I think it's strange that you have such a big problem with it."

I didn't have a problem with it, but I did think it was really weird. Either way, we didn't go out again.


Joy and Sadness

Story Sent in by Joy:

Gene and I went to a film festival and bought tickets to a movie block. They played a Chinese film (I forgot its title) but it was a really sad drama about a woman who lost her kids and siblings and had to put the pieces of her life back together.

Gene laughed hysterically almost the entire time. As in whenever someone died he laughed and clapped. He'd say things like, "Oh my god this is hilarious" and "Ha ha! She's dead! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

It was all I could do to not sob my eyes out and this jerk was being a loud, inappropriate moron. Then he noticed tears running down my face and he started to make fun of me for crying! He pretended to cry and laughed at me.

I told him that I had to go to the bathroom and would return but instead I just moved further back in the theater to enjoy the film in relative peace. He kept laughing the whole time and didn't even go out to look for me once.

As soon as it was over I took off and didn't ever reply to his messages.


Dude, Where's My House?

Story Sent in by Rudy:

My first date (if you can call it that) with Carisa was a rushed walk around the block. We both had insanely busy schedules but both worked close to each other and so we took a bit of time during a synchronized lunch break to meet and greet.

Not long after, she asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner and then maybe head back to her place for drinks/dessert. Sounded great.

Dinner was good. We talked, laughed, and she was very flirtatious. I had a good vibe about the whole thing and looked forward to what the rest of the evening would bring.

Well... about that. She told me to follow her to her home and so I did. But when she stopped and parked her car, it wasn't in front of a house: it was in front of an overgrown, vacant lot. Nothing else was around.

"What the...?" she began, stepping out of her car and looking around. "Do you see my house anywhere?"

I said, "No. Should it be here?"

"Yes. This is my address. But my house is... where the hell is my house?"

She paced around, looking everywhere with her hands on her head. She seemed upset, but maybe not as upset as someone who actually lost an actual house.

Figuring that she was playing some sort of game (and honestly hoping to score) I said, "So maybe we can head to your actual house, now?"

"This is my actual house! 162 Sycamore Lane! It just isn't here!"

She paced around a little more and then pulled out her phone and called someone who I guessed was a friend. Into the phone, she said, "My house is just gone! I don't know. Where did you see it last? I'm at my front yard and the house is just not here!" She hung up and then called someone else. The same conversation ensued.

I said, "I'm going to go."

She waved goodbye and I left her there. I hope she found her house. And sanity.


I Don't Belong Here

Story Sent in by Krista:

Ted and I spoke online for around two weeks before meeting at a cafe. During that time we talked about what we did for a living and even our daily habits, such as whether we were morning people and what time we woke up for work. I didn't think anything was too strange.

Then on our date he said, "You'll be pleased to know that you passed the honesty test."

"I did? How did I do that?"

He replied, "I saw you leave for work this morning at the time you told me you usually do and I saw you go to work. So thank you for telling me the truth."

More than a little freaked I asked, "You waited outside my house and followed me to work?"

He said, "You're a stranger off the Internet. I have to protect myself. You told me the truth. I figured you'd be happy to hear you passed the honesty test."

I said, "That's nice, but you just completely failed the creep test."

He took a few moments to work it out in his head before asking, "So you're saying that I am a creep?"

"That's right."

"How am I a creep? I wasn't taking clippings of your hair or stalking you. I was just protecting myself!"

He never ended up seeing it my way and so we never ended up seeing each other again.


Crack in the Armor

Profile Sent in by Jennifer:

About me:

no#1 complaint of people on this site: guys send too many nude pics! I will never send you a picture like that and disrespect you. I do not know what goes through guys heads! I am respectful and kind. Mellow and nice. You'll find that I am firm yet kind. My favorite color is blue. In the colortest it means that I am serene yet calm. I wear this like armor. Let me know what you think!!!


Jennifer says, "One of his profile photos was of a naked rear end."

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