9/25/2017

Cafe of the Furious

Thanks to Phil K. for his $10 pledge! We have 14 patrons for a total of $73. We're over 20% toward banishing ads and over 14% toward daily posts. With as little as $2/month, you can help us back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Todd:

Over dating site emails with Krystal, she told me that there was a cafe that she really liked. She had apparently been there once several years ago and had always wanted to return. She said she had forgotten its exact street address and couldn't find it on Google Maps. But she knew the neighborhood it was in and so we made plans to meet in that area.

It was evening when we met up at a street corner in a suburban neighborhood. She said, "It's right around here." There were no business of any kind around. The streets were full of houses. I followed her on foot from street to street and pretty soon I realized that she must have been mistaken.

I said, "This isn't even a commercial area. Maybe it's closer to a main road?"

She said, "No. I remember that house," and she pointed to a brick house that looked exactly the same as the brick houses on either side of it.

She led me down a few more streets for a little while when I suggested, "Maybe we can find another cafe?"

"I really want to find this one. Their salads were amazing."

We walked up and down the same neighborhood roads for a while longer. Maybe she expected the cafe to suddenly materialize if we walked around the same block counter-clockwise seven times. I'm not sure of that, but I was sure that I was hungry. I told her, "Let's get some dinner somewhere else and maybe you'll remember where it was while we eat?"

She was reluctant to give up the search so I added, "Let's do dinner somewhere else and then do dessert at your cafe."

That changed her mind and so we drove several blocks away to a nice downtown area with no shortage of cafes. It took her forever to pick a cafe because of course she had to look at the salads at each place to see if any were comparable to the ones she had at this mythical amazing place that was apparently replaced by an entire suburban neighborhood in just a few short years.

We finally, finally sat down to eat and she ordered a salad and when it arrived she was quick to inform me that it wasn't as good as the salad at her mystery cafe. She urged me to hurry through dinner so that we could go back to searching for it. I did my best to change her mind. I really did. I asked her if she wanted to order dessert at where we were or maybe we could find a bakery or ice cream shop... but no. She was dead set on finding that cafe. I didn't want to traipse around a neighborhood anymore, so I told her I'd probably go home after dinner. She said she was fine with that.

When we left the dinner place, she turned to me and asked if I was really going to leave. She said, "I thought you were going to help me."

I was pretty irritated at her and I said, "Why do we need to find this place? We spent forever searching for it before dinner, it's about all you talked about through dinner, and hello? We just had dinner! We don't need to find another cafe!"

She yelled, "I'm gonna find it with or without your help!" and she stormed off, back into the suburban neighborhood full of houses and no cafes whatsoever. I went home.

She texted me after 11 to say, "FOUND IT! DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE A JERK!"

I wrote back, "Send me a photo."

She didn't send me anything after that. And that was really okay.

*

The next post will be on Wednesday. Like this story? Want one daily? Or multiple stories a day? Or ones delivered right to you that won't wind up on the site? Click below!

9/22/2017

Knockout

Love bad date stories? Want a new one daily? We have 13 patrons for a total of $64! We're over 18% toward banishing ads and over 12% toward daily posts. At just $2/month from enough readers, we'd be back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Nell:

Jason mentioned on his profile that he was a boxer. I'm not a big fan of the sport (although Muhammad Ali went to my high school) but I was interested to learn more about him. As it turns out, I couldn't shut him up once he started in about it. It was like trying to drink from a fire hydrant!

On our date he took me out for coffee and to "see his moves." I thought that meant that he was going to bring me to a boxing gym, which actually would've been pretty fun, as I had never been in one. Instead, after he hurried us through coffee, he brought me out to his parked car and pulled out an old pair of green boxing gloves.

He put them on and said, "Point at something."

I didn't know what was going on. "Like... what?"

He said, "Anything. Or anybody."

I pointed to a telephone pole. He jogged up to it and pummeled it with his fists. Then he immediately cringed back. He yelled, "Ow! My fists!" Then he turned to me and shouted, "Why'd you make me do that?" He then jumped into his car and drove away.

*

Next post: Monday.

9/20/2017

Pulling a Yanni

We have 13 patrons for a total of $64! We're over 18% toward banishing ads and over 12% toward returning to daily posts. Are you a regular reader? At just $2/month from enough of you, the ads would be gone and we'd be back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Nicholas:

I talked a lot about music with Rosemary before our first date and when we finally met we exchanged mix CDs. I gave her an eclectic mix of mostly classic rock and a couple of show tunes I liked. She handed me a Yanni CD. Not a mix CD. As in a literal used Yanni CD. And it was scratched beyond reason - as if someone had listened to it so much that it was worn down to the label.

I wanted to appear gracious so I said, "You must really love Yanni."

She then reached into her purse and pulled out two identical CDs - each the same Yanni album as the first one, each similarly damaged. In fact, one had a crack. She handed them both to me.

I didn't have anything to say. So she filled the silence, "I just really want to share my love of Yanni with you." Then her eyes lit up. She clearly had an idea. "After dinner, you have to let me play some Yanni for you."

I joked, "You have a piano with you?"

"Better," she replied.

After dinner she brought me to her car, popped her trunk, and pulled out a clarinet. Right there on the street, she played note after screechy note, each worse than the one before it. If Yanni could've heard her, he'd have personally stuffed her into her own clarinet case and thrown it into a lake. Regardless, I told her that she did a fine job and we parted with hugs.

The next day she called me up to ask if I had listened to the CDs she had given me. I told her that they were really scratched and that they didn't play in my machine (truthfully, I hadn't even tried).

She said, "Oh... I have to go," and hung up on me. I never heard from her again.

*

Next post: Friday.

9/18/2017

Not of This Planet

We have 13 patrons for a total of $64! We're over 18% toward banishing ads and over 12% toward returning to daily posts. Are you a regular reader? At just $2/month from enough of you, the ads would be gone and we'd be back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Heather:

The part on Scott's profile that was supposed to have the information on what what he did for a living was blank. I asked him in a couple of messages what his job was, but he was evasive, saying that it was too sensitive to discuss over email. So when we met over drinks, I asked him point blank.

He said, "I just quit my job as a Sharper Image distributor to pursue my dream: I'm going to be the first human on Mars."

He paused, I guessed for dramatic effect. Realizing that he had a few screws loose I asked him, "How will you accomplish that?"

He said, "I've been working out," and he lifted his shirt to show me that he had, indeed, been working out. He had nice abs, in his defense. Then he pulled his shirt down and went on, "And I have friends in the Air Force who'll let me join as a Staff Sergeant. Then I just have to contact NASA and show them this," and he lifted his shirt again - nice abs! - and finished, "And then I'll probably be on the short list. I just want to do something amazing with my life."

The future Mars astronaut threw back a few more beers, showed his abs to a few more women in the bar, then stumbled out of the place without even saying bye to me.

*

The next post will be on Wednesday.

9/15/2017

Hide and Pique

We have 11 patrons for a total of $58! We're over 16% toward banishing ads and about 12% toward returning to daily posts. Are you a regular reader? At just $2/month from enough of you, the ads would be gone and we'd be back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Glen:

There wasn't much to talk about with Barbara. We had met online and had agreed to meet in person pretty quickly, mainly to see if there was any chemistry. We had started out with good conversation but soon we made it to a park and sat down and she stopped talking to me or answering my questions with any substance. I'd ask her things and she'd reply as quickly as possible without branching off into conversation from any of it - like she was in a hurry to spin things down. I asked her if everything was okay and she said it was.

She became kind of manic again after a little bit and the conversation flowed like whatever had been bothering her had just been temporary. I was glad to get back into it, but in the middle of our chat she blurted, "Let's play hide and seek! You're it, first!"

She then ran off. I love spontaneity so I covered my eyes and counted to 50. Ready or not. I opened my eyes and... well, there she was in the middle of the field, just standing there with her hands over her eyes.

I figured she was just playing around and so I pretended to look for her in other places. Finally I tapped her on the shoulder. "You found me!" she said, "Your turn to hide!"

She threw an arm over her eyes and counted. I decided to find a good spot under a little bridge.

After the better part of an hour, I peeked out. Barbara was nowhere to be seen. I called out for her and texted her. She texted back that he had become bored with hide and seek and went to an ice cream parlor nearby. I was a bit irritated - why hadn't she texted me or called to let me know that she was done playing?

Anyway I went to meet her at the ice cream parlor and she was sitting there without any ice cream but with another guy. She said, "Hey, Glen. Meet my friend, Eric."

I shook Eric's hand. Barbara then turned to him and said, "Ready?"

Eric nodded and then the two of them started making out, right there in front of me. I left the ice cream parlor. I don't think they even noticed. I didn't go out with Barbara again.

*

The next post will be on Monday.

9/13/2017

Burger Queen

We have 10 patrons for a total of $53! We're 15% toward banishing ads and about 11% toward returning to daily posts. Given daily page views, if three percent of readers kicked in at the $2/month level, the ads would be gone and we'd be back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Gary:

When I was out to a first date dinner with Maxine, she received a phone call from her younger brother. She put him on hold and asked me if I'd be up for visiting him after dinner. It was a weird thing to ask on a first date but I told her it would be fine. She hung up with him and I asked her where we'd be visiting him. She said he worked at a local mall's food court.

Maxine's brother, Liam, worked at a burger place that looked out to a big atrium. When we made it there, Maxine asked me buy something because Liam's boss might have been watching. I ordered a small fries.

Maxine asked, "That's it? Can you order something bigger? We might be talking here for a little bit."

I said, "I'll just eat the fries really slowly."

She said, "You're gonna get Liam in trouble. Now order something bigger. Just for looks, okay?"

I didn't really want to but I also wanted the argument to be over so I ordered some burger combo. When it was ready I passed it over to Maxine. She asked, "What are you doing? I don't want that crap!"

I said, "I don't want to eat a burger. I'm not hungry. You eat it."

She said, "Gross! I'm not eating it! You have to eat it while I talk to my brother! His boss is probably watching!"

I refused. "There's no way I'm eating that."

She said, "If neither of us eat it then he has to. His boss is watching!"

I said, "Then I hope Liam's hungry."

Maxine called me something nasty then handed the burger to her brother. She said to him, "I'm so sorry you have to do this. Because of someone!" and she stared at me.

Her brother then began to cry as he ate the burger in silence. Maxine said things to me like, "Look what you're making him do!" and "I hope you're happy!" and "I can't believe you'd be so cruel."

Not that that wasn't enjoyable but I finally said that I had to go to the bathroom and I left.

*

The next post will be on Friday.

9/11/2017

Jurassic Lark

We have eight patrons for a total of $50! Huge thanks to Susan M. for her $10 pledge and Nick aka The Architect for his $20 pledge (we named today's bad date after you)! We're 14% toward banishing ads and 10% toward returning to daily posts. Given daily page views, if three percent of readers kicked in at the $2/month level, the ads would be gone and we'd be back to posting multiple stories a day. It's up to you! Click here for more details about our Patreon or click below to jump right in. Thank you!


Story Sent in by Morgan:

My friend's sister set me up with Nick. We texted for a few weeks and then he invited me to get coffee and go to the college library so he could show me some of his favorite books, as he was really into science and fossils.

The library he wanted to meet at was a law library. We met and he told me he wanted to show me dinosaur books. He led me to where he thought they'd be, but probably because it was a law library, they weren't there. He then stomped up and down the aisles. I suggested he talk to a librarian.

We went to the desk and he asked where all the dinosaur books were. The librarian pointed out this was a law library and that there was a science library as well as a general library within walking distance. Nick gave her a blank stare so she searched on the computer and somehow was able to find two dinosaur-related books.

We went to find them. Nick said, "I know there are a lot more dinosaur books! The librarian is lying."

I reminded him that this was a law library and that we might have better luck at the other libraries. He replied, "No! I know she's lying. She hates me because I'm a man."

I should have left at that point, but instead I suggested we go for coffee.

At the coffee house, I ordered a white mocha and Nick asked for a mint latte. As luck would have it they were out of mint syrup. He settled on a vanilla latte.

"Would you like sugar?" the barista asked.

Nick said, "No!" and mumbled at the floor.

We got our drinks and sat down. Nick said, "The barista is lying! I know they have mint syrup. I ordered one last week."

I didn't feel like explaining to a grown man what it meant to run out of a product, so I tried to change the subject. But he ignored me and continued on. "Why is she so nosy? Asking if I want sugar? She must think I'm out of shape and want a lot of sugar."

I knew it was finally time to leave so I said I needed to get home. Nick likely decided to go back to the law library to find more dinosaur books.

*

The site's next post will be on Wednesday.

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