7/30/2015

Don't Ask What She Called Her Entree

Story Sent in by Kenneth:

When I was at dinner on my first date with Ernestine, the waiter came to our table and asked us what we wanted to drink. I ordered a beer. Ernestine ordered a water.

When the water arrived and the waiter left, Ernestine took the water and said out loud, "Pee-pee juice!" and drank most of it down.

It was hard to take anything she said seriously after that, but I did my best. She was a grown woman, after all. Or maybe not. Before the food arrived she stood up and said, "I'm gonna go pee-pee!" and left the table for the restroom.

The food arrived while she was away and the waiter poured her more water. When she returned she said, "More pee-pee juice!"

I had to ask at that point, "Do you always call water pee-pee juice?"

She replied, "It's preferable in polite company."

"Preferable to what?"

"Piss juice or something like that."

She was otherwise nice but we didn't go out again.

8 comments:

  1. I really loathe adults that use kiddy or baby words. I have a 1 year old and I still can't call a pacifier a "binky" or a stuffed animal a "lovey". It just sounds ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Meh, my wife and I have always used Binky. It's the actual brand name, iirc.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I rarely used babytalk with my kids. Binky was a brand name 15 years ago.

    My dogs, however... "Is you a good boy? Who's a good boy? Does you got your ball? Gimme the ball!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. ^ Dogs are totally ok to talk to that way. Why is that?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Because dogs are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I especially like it when the stories make me actually laugh out loud. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes, solid twist at the end: Piss juice is not acceptable in polite company!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think that should be a new mixed drink: I'll have a Piss Juice on the rocks!

    Recipe:
    1.5 oz Lemoncello
    .5 oz coconut rum
    3 oz Sprite

    Serve in dirty glass with toilet tissue coaster.

    ReplyDelete

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