But It Had Fist Germs on It

Story Sent in by George:

I met Clara at a bakery. She worked there, making cookies and cakes. I had been in there a couple of times and thought she was cute and so I finally mustered up the courage to ask her out.

On our first date she gave me a nicely wrapped box. I opened it and found that she had given me a little cake with my name on it, written in red icing. Or at least, I think it was supposed to be my name. In big block letters she had written "GERM."

I told her how thoughtful it was and joked, "Dare I ask what's in it?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I said, "It says 'GERM.' Is the filling influenza or bubonic plague?"

She looked at it and then looked back up at me. She said, "That's not how you spell your name?"

I said, "G-e-o-r-g-e. It's really okay. I'm touched that you'd make me something."

She punched the cake and shoved it back at me. "There now! Is it all fixed?" she shouted, then wrung out her hand, as it had cake bits all over it. "Now I've got cakey crap all over my hand! And red icing! Thank you!"

I took her out for coffee to cool her down a bit but that was our only date. I actually did eat what was left of the cake afterward, as she had made it for me. It was great, even if she was completely off her rocker.


The next story will be posted on Friday.


  1. Maybe she was trying to label the cake as German Chocolate, but ran out of room...

  2. How much you wanna bet she neglected to wash her hands before fisting the cake?

  3. After slamming her fist in her spaghetti and not getting a second date, Clara tries again to find a man who enjoys angry-eating.


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