Story Sent in by Amanda:
Kevin arrived for our date with a small, dark red pillow under his arm. I thought that maybe he had come from meditating or something similar, and I asked him about it.
"Meditating? No. It's my ass pillow," he said.
I asked, "What's an ass pillow?"
He said, "A pillow. For ass. Ready to eat?"
Shortly thereafter, a host seated us in a booth at a nice restaurant, and Kevin sat on his pillow. During dinner he adjusted it a few times but otherwise it didn't really distract from anything.
After a little bit, I asked him again about it. He conceded that it was just to make him more comfortable when he sat down. That made sense, although it was unusual.
Dinner ended and he paid. I thanked him and when it was time to leave, he was sure to remember his pillow. That's when the weird hit.
He pressed his pillow to his face and took a deep, longing sniff.
"Ahhh," he said, then held it in my direction. "Want to try?"
"A... sniff?" I asked, a bit more than horrified. "No... thanks. I'm okay."
He nodded like it was the answer he expected. We walked out together and he asked me if I wanted to do anything else. I told him I was tired and that I was ready to call it a night. He was otherwise very nice, but that whole pillow thing just...
Well, I was going to make a joke about his red pillow looked like this, but this guy was a genuine fart sniffer. Like, he ate a spicy meal, and wanted to smell what his shit would smell like in a few hours. A preview to the main attraction so to speak. And then wanted to give you a taste?! Or, maybe i'm over thinking this whole thing and he just wanted to show you his true feelings.
ReplyDeleteOne more, just for fun.
"He nodded like it was the answer he expected." Like he does this all the time. And is used to getting rejected. Oh well, at least he's upfront about his fetish. I hope he finds what he's looking for. They can go about the city, trying out different restaurants, and sniffing each other's fart pillows after. Happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, we've all seen that episode of Impractical Jokers, right?