Just What a Killer Would Say

Story Sent in by Doug:

I met Amber on Plentyoffish and we seemed to be a great match. On our first date, though, something was clearly wrong. She spent most of the time grumbling and laughing into her lap.

When I asked her what was up, she said that I knew what was wrong. I asked her what it was and again she was evasive.

Finally, I told her to either tell me what was bothering her or I'd end the date. She said, "You know what's wrong: you killed my entire family."

Not what I expected to hear. For the record, I had done nothing of the sort. But when I asked her to elaborate, she said, "I'll prove it. Wait here," and then she went off to the bathroom.

I took that as my opportunity to leave, which I did without looking back.


  1. Nothing unusual here... I know *I* would laugh hysterically if I went out on a date with whomever killed *MY* family...

    But, sadly, Chunky Horse is taken... :-(

  2. Jeebus, I would have ordered another drink and totally stuck around for that explanation. That entertainment would've been worth the price of admission.

  3. lol someone needs medication and fast!

  4. Bad move, OP. You totally missed out on getting an envelope full of Hello Kitty stickers.

  5. Why is Chunky Horse taken? Anyway, that's total weirdness, OP. Do you think it proved your guilt since you weren't there when she came back? muahahahahahahahahaha. But at any rate, it's still good on you to be smart enough to leave.

  6. This is why Anne Frank should not date Nazis. It just leads to awkwardness.

  7. @Tourist - that's perhaps my fav flashback so far :D


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