7/20/2011

Goodbye Kitty

Story Sent in by Jeremy:

Erika and I had been out on one date already. It had gone well, and I planned a nice afternoon for our second date, starting with lunch.

We ate at a mom and pop diner that she had told me she had always wanted to try. Something was off, though. She wasn't her usual bubbly self. She barely looked me in the eye, and didn't seem at all interested in talking.

I asked her, "What's wrong?"

She said, "Nothing."

I don't like beating around the bush or playing games. I asked, "Seriously, what's bothering you?"

She replied, "You're seeing other people. That's what."

I said, "Come again? You're the only person I'm dating now."

She said, "I know for a fact that you're seeing other people."

"Your facts are mistaken. Where's your proof?"

She said, "I have proof," and took out a folded white envelope from her purse. I reached for it, but she held it back, then held it up. "Proof," she said.

"Let me see."

She shook her head. "I don't have to show you anything. If I say I have proof, I have proof."

I replied, "I don't believe that you have any proof. And besides, even if I was seeing someone else, we just started dating. I don't think that it should be an issue, in any case."

"So you are seeing other people."

"No. Show me your proof."

She sat up straighter. "Admit that you're seeing other people."

"Show me your proof or I'm leaving."

"You wouldn't."

I replied, "I don't date liars, and I'm pretty sure that you are one. Show me the proof right now."

She threw the envelope at me. I tore it open and pulled out… a white piece of paper, covered with Hello Kitty stickers.

After examining it for a few moments, I looked up at Erika.

She said, "Proof!" then stuck her hands in my face, wiggled her fingers, said, "Blagh lagh lagh lagh!" and ran out of the diner.

She turned a few heads, but there was nothing I could say to explain her behavior. The waitress came by with our lunches. I ate mine there and took hers to go.

I arrived home and logged into my dating site account to find that she had written me a note. I opened it up and it said, "HE CHEATS ON ME WITH HELLO KITTY HE CHEATS ON ME WITH HELLO KITTY" and repeated that about 700 times.

I didn't reply, and I certainly didn't ask her out again.

6 comments:

  1. I always suspected women who like Hello Kitty are raving lunatics.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This sort of mentality really baffles me. It seems a lot of people on this site go out on a date specifically to fuck with someone, but where's the logic in doing what she did? I mean, you waste your time and someone else's for what? Those precious few seconds where the other person just looks confused? Are these people going home and telling everyone about their "exciting" dating story? Why even bother with all the ridiculous bullshit?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Maybe Erika's a regular reader and wanted to have a good story to tell. Jeremy just beat her to it. What a stupid, fat, troll bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OP, you covered the dialogue pretty well, but there's one glaring omission in your story. WERE you in fact cheating on her with Hello Kitty? She DID have pictures, after all...

    (P.S. If you were, I don't blame you - it'd be a step up)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rawr, kitty's got claws.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A sad, sad attempt at
    a bluff. Probably a 'test'.
    What a crazy girl.

    ReplyDelete

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