Seek and Ye Shan't Find

Story Sent in by Sylvia:

Wayne was a total lightweight and a total jerk. Less than an hour into our date, he was already buzzed and said, "Last night it was just me, some tissues, and my junk! And tonight I'm out with a beautiful woman. Things can only go up from here!"

He then reached into the front of his pants and fumbled his hand around. He said, "Whoa. That's weird. That's really weird. That's really, really, really weird."

I was looking away at that point. I would've left, but I had more than half a glass of wine left and I didn't want to waste it, regardless of whether or not he was planning to pay for it.

He kept saying how "weird" something in his pants was, and he was more and more fidgety and panicked. Finally, he made for the bathrooms.

He came back with a big grin. "All good."

I asked, "What was the problem?"

"I couldn't find my junk. But it's still there."

"That's a relief."

He leaned in. "For you?"

I downed the rest of my wine in one gulp. "For the tissue company."

I put down money for my wine and left that idiot.


  1. Ahh, young alchoholics in love...

  2. Damn, that was close! He should really get that leprosy looked at.

  3. The OP stuck around for less than a glass of wine? Glad you at least got a shitty story to tell out of it, OP. Otherwise, it hardly seems worth it. /sarcasm

  4. Huh, I was at that bar that night!

    In other news, this date makes me nostalgic for the avant garde music of my high school years.

  5. What a loser. I think he better go on dates only with his tissues from now on.


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