9/19/2013

Outside the Lines

Story Sent in by Rhonda:

Noah was a pencil and charcoal artist who sent me to his website to look at his creations. They were good, and before we even met, he told me that he wanted to draw me. I was flattered, and thought it would be a unique first date activity.

In person, we met in a park on a sunny day and he set up a small easel and went to work. He drew me as we spoke, and I did my best to keep my head steady so he wouldn't have too much trouble.

He didn't complain, but at the same time, I could tell that he was becoming more and more frustrated. He would grunt and groan while working on the drawing, and he took on a snappish tone.

In the middle of our conversation, he broke his pencil in half, threw the pieces on the ground, ripped the drawing off the easel, crumpled it and tore it into pieces.

"Yeeeaaarrggh!" he screamed, truly frightening, "This sucks! Everything sucks! You suck!" and he stormed away with his easel.

No second date.

17 comments:

  1. "But when I recovered the pieces from the ground and uncrumpled them, I beheld a beautiful drawing of Stephen Colbert wearing only glasses and a grin, on a privy."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey OP, if you had stopped moaning and groaning so much, he probably could have done a better job with your portrait.

    @ JMG - I don't know why he was so upset, I thought it was a pretty good drawing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I want Blue Blue's kissginity...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damnation, finding a pic of the actual charcoal drawing of Colbert from this episode of Strangers With Candy was not to be.

    Sorry, Jarrrrrrrrrrrred. Still enough of a gesture for a second date, I hope. I'm free last week if you are.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Steve what the heck are you talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want your kissginity, obvi...

    ReplyDelete
  7. And I want Blue Blue's milkginity.

    ReplyDelete
  8. how can you take me kissingity when i have already lost it?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Now Blue, we both know stuffed animals don't count...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Or your mother BUT I bet you've not been milked by anyone and I want to be the first.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like how Blue says "Take me kissingity" on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now Steve, i don't kiss stuffed animals! i kiss human beings. sorry but it already been taken. tryn2fly, i milk u first then you can milk me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Blue Blue, you got yourself a deal, please bring a decorative painters bucket. God damn, this is going to be fun.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh snap! Can we make it a 3-some?

    ReplyDelete
  15. That sounds excellent Steve but I get to milk Blue Blue first, that milkginity is mine. I've even bought a new decorative painters bucket for the occasion. I'm guessing you'll just need a tablespoon Steve? We can all celebrate after with a number 4. Hooray!

    ReplyDelete
  16. sorry tryn2fly but i dont have any painter buckets you have to provide me with some.

    ReplyDelete
  17. lol that guy needs anger management and some meds!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.