Dara gave my hand a squeeze as we walked together during our first time out. She asked me, "You know what I like about you? I mean, compared to the other guys who message me online? Your flesh."
It was an unusual complement, and I wasn't sure how to take it. I said, "I'm sure that most guys who message you have flesh."
She squeezed my hand tighter and said, "Mmm... not like yours. Yours is so fleshy. I could make a blanket out of it. And pillows. And a comforter. A whole matching set."
Just so you know, around the time of this date, I was 5'10" and weighed around 180lbs. I didn't think of myself as particularly "fleshy," but apparently she did.
She gave my hand a final squeeze, then jumped in front of me, all excited. "Oh my God! I should totally wrap myself in your flesh cocoon! I'll emerge as a butterfly. What do you think?"
I was going to say, "Uh..." but she said, "Shh! Don't answer now. Think about it."
The rest of our date consisted of a walk up and down both sides of a city street with boutiques and various shops. She looked in each window like she was seriously considering purchasing its display contents. After close to two hours of that, she gave me the biggest goodbye hug and went on her way.
"around the time of this date, I was 5'10" and weighed around 180lbs."
ReplyDeleteBUT NOW I AM 13 FEET, 12 TONS, AND MADE OF COPPER.
Weird date. Half the guys on this site are all like "let me into your flesh cocoon" and yet Paul just lets this chick slip by. What a shame.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this chick totally needed her EVS cured, and OP was oblivious...
ReplyDeleteAlso, holding hands on a first date is rather forward, dontchathink?
Blue Blue and I have been dating for 6 months now, and we still haven't held hands. Once I propose to her, I'm hoping I can take her kissginity on our wedding night...
Seriously Jarrrrrred? This story made the cut? I'm disappointed. The OP is a pussy who didn't catch on to her innuendos that she wanted him to use her as a pin cushion.
ReplyDeletei don't think so steve, im not going to marry you.
ReplyDelete"It puts the lotion on it's skin, or it gets the hose again!"
ReplyDeleteI will not tolerate your insolence, Blue! We're getting married, and that's final!
ReplyDeleteSteve, you can't tell me what to do!!!!! I am not going to marry you and that is final!! and you will tolerate my insolence!
ReplyDeleteWait, I think I saw this movie....but was it a porno or a horror flick? Either way, someone got boned.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if Dara is actually me on one of my many skin harvest dates? This one obviously unsuccessful or Paul would be at the bottom of my basement well getting the hose if the lotion wasn't rubbed on to my liking.
ReplyDeletePlease Steve & Blue Blue can I be best Griffin at your wedding? I have already prepared a speech and have a beautiful white painters bucket for the shitting/holding hands looking deep into the brides eyes bit. Please please please.
Why does Blue Blue get to marry Steve? Maaaaannnnn. And, Howie, I'll be your pin cushion any time. Any where. Yours too, TryN2Fly. ;)
ReplyDeleteTanette13, if you want to marry Steve go ahead! because I am certainly not going to marry him.
ReplyDeletelol slightly creepy and gross...just slightly;)
ReplyDelete