7/06/2010

Bust a Move

Submitted by Clinton:

I had offered to take Julianne out for dinner, but she insisted on lunch on a Saturday, two weeks into the future.  She claimed that it was the only time she that had free in her schedule.

We spent the ensuing two weeks in touch, and although I was initially excited to meet her, we ran out of things to talk about pretty quickly.  It was like she wasn't really interested in me anymore, and to be honest, the feeling was becoming mutual.

Still, she usually made the effort to call me when I didn't call her, and she at least attempted conversation.  Maybe she just wasn't that good at communication over the phone.

The day of our lunch date came.  We had picked out a diner with outdoor seating, and wouldn't you know it, we actually had a good time, at first.  She seemed about ten times as into me as she had been over the phone.  Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Towards the end of lunch, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her house to hang out for a bit.  Thinking this a positive sign, I agreed.

We made it back to her place, and her mother was home.  I introduced myself to her, and her mother said to Julianne, "I'm glad you found an able-bodied man to help you out."

I turned to Julianne.  "Help you out?  With what?"

Julianne said, "Come on.  I'll show you."

She led me up to her room, which was a complete disaster area.  Piles of clothes, books, stuffed animals, unmentionables... you quite literally couldn't even see the floor.

I asked Julianne, "What is it that I'm helping you with?"

She replied, "I'm moving out of my mother's house today, and I need your help to pack up my stuff and move it to my new place.  I couldn't get anyone else to help me, and it needs to get done today."

This was not what I had signed up for when I had agreed to the date.  Still, I thought that it wouldn't hurt to help her out a little bit.  Then again, it was pretty convenient that she had never mentioned moving in any of our communications beforehand.

The problem was that Julianne had thrown everything into a big pile in her room and had no plan for how to organize it or even pack it.  She didn't have any boxes or any bags.

"We can just grab handfuls of stuff and throw it into my car," she said. 

After a few back-and-forth trips, to and from her car, I told her that I was probably going to go.  I didn't like leaving a woman in need, but at the same time, I really felt as if I had been suckered into spending the day helping her.

She didn't take it very well.  She said, "But we can still talk and have fun while we're doing this!  If we pack up your car with my stuff, too, then it'll get done twice as fast!  I can be all set up in my new place before the end of the day!"

The idea of carting all of her junk to wherever her new place was, helping her set everything back up, organize her closet, etc... I just couldn't.

I told her that I was probably going to go.  She then became less upset and more seductive.  She told me that if I helped her, she'd "make it worth my time."

Oh, so if I help you, my reward is giving both of us an orgasm?  How was I ever attracted to this girl?  I told her thanks but no thanks, and I headed out.

She didn't follow me out of her house at first, but when I started up my car, she ran out, alongside my vehicle, and started hitting my windshield with an old apron, over and over.

I pulled away, and that was that.

22 comments:

  1. Seven-thirty7/06/2010 9:58 AM

    Her mother didn't want her anymore either... this how human trafficking begins.

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  2. This does take the "free meal" date to the next level, I must say. Good thing you didn't stick around to see where she was moving to, it was probably *your* place!...or some fat bitch's gigantic vagoo.

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  3. You sure didn't dodge an apron here. *bah dum du...nevermind*

    If it makes you feel better, I sincerely doubt she had intentions to make anything worth your while.

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  4. Aww Fizziks, you beat me to the punch! I was totally thinking she was going to try and move in with this guy! OP, you were totally set up. I don't know weather to feel sorry for you or hate you for even participating in her ridiculous attempt at a move. Actually, I think I'll just hate you. That emotion comes naturally to me.

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  5. lolz!! (aka I have nothing meaningful to contribute, but the story was funny!)

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  6. It's days like this that make me start to think that this and Baku-chan might be all that's left out there.

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  7. I thought she was going to try to move in with him, too!

    -Baku-chan

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  8. @lpdar: Not sure if that's an insult or compliment 0_0

    -Baku-chan

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  9. What does it seem like?

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  10. Oh come on Ipdar, leave her alone. Baku-chan - you may just be too sweet for some of these dickheads who post on this blog's comment threads. And that is meant as a compliment.

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  11. ^Wow, an actual compliment. Careful, children, don't disturb its unnatural environment. Leave only footprints, take only masturbation fantasies.

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  12. Fizziks, I'm in love with your new picture. It accurately represents the mental image I get whenever I think of you (which is often *WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE*)!

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  13. Thanks! Architect and I saw this vage-cave on a recent excursion, and luckily there were cameras to document how eagerly I flopped on this thing. I'd post a picture of me double-fisting it, but I was too afraid of the goo in there.

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  14. OP you should have asked for payment up front with the "make it worth my time." line and gotten yourself some. Then after you had blown your load simply walk away then.

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  15. @ Nikki - That's actually her real vage with a pale person tattooed above it! That dark goo filled hole is all her!

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  16. You know, Architect, I had heard of "3D tattoos" before, but only in the darkest circles. I feel so...hip...knowing that someone I know has one, and not only that, but has one above her dark, goo-filled vagina!

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  17. Actually, that's my conjoined twin.

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  18. ^ LOL! Say hello to her little friend! "Hi Kuato!"

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  19. Anon 11:49 - Thank you very much! :-) Not every day someone gets a compliment here!

    -Baku-chan

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  20. I moved once a year for three years and have completely run out of people to ask this favor of. Now next time I move, I have a plan! Craigslist is gonna help me move my shit.

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  21. "Worth your while" meant that after the move she'd state: "Look upon my hoarded riches from every land and the deepest seas! For your valiant efforts *you* *YOU* will be allowed to take AAALLLL the treasure a dwarf with five fingers can carry!"

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