6/27/2010

The Cavalry's Here

Submitted by Jess:

Walter took me out to dinner and a club.  At dinner, he kept asking me all sorts of weird questions, like how old I was when I lost my virginity, what I wore to bed, if I ever touched myself in the shower, and other such things.

It had been a little while since I had been out, so I figured that we had nothing to lose by continuing out to the club.

While we were there, he ground against me repeatedly.  I kept moving away from him, but he didn't stop.

I had had a few drinks and excused myself for a moment and called two gay couples that I knew.  I explained the situation and we came up with a plan.

They showed up about a half-hour later.  I excused myself from Walter's presence once more, pointed them in his direction, and returned to Walter. 

Sure as can be, he started grinding against me again, but cue my gay friends.  They arrived on the scene, danced around us, and especially close to him. Wouldn't you know it, he backed off from then on.

They never gave away that they knew me, and Walter became seemingly more and more uncomfortable.  He offered to drive me home less than 20 minutes later.  I had turned the evening around on him, and of course in retrospect, I should've ended things earlier, but I still felt pretty great at the end of the evening.

35 comments:

  1. So... do you touch yourself in the shower?

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  2. You moved away from him, but did you tell him outright to stop? Just wondering.

    -Baku-chan

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  3. You came up with a plan? Instead of just saying "back off, sleazebag" and leaving?

    Every girl has been on this date. They just didn't submit it to the website because the date ended early and without a gay cavalry rescue. Grow some balls.

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  4. This is right out pathetic, you didn't like the guy so you made a stupid plan? going home or telling him you're not interested didn't come to mind?
    The amount of stories where the so called bad date is the OPs fault are increasing.
    To all the daters out there; if your date is acting weird or is annoying, leave! don't go on to a club/bar/their house afterwards!

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  5. Seven-thirty6/28/2010 6:05 AM

    If the gay couples call on the favor and request that you be a surrogate mother, will you do it?

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  6. Wow, a lot of haters here. I think this was a great solution. Maybe now he'll realize just how uncomfortable something like this can make someone feel.

    And the guy certainly didn't ask the men to stop grinding him so why not throw some flak his way too just to be fair?

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  7. Seven-thirty6/28/2010 7:35 AM

    6:16

    You miss the point. The OP was questioned about her virginity, night clothes, masturbation habits, etc. No normal guy would dream of bringing up such stuff. A lot of women would have gotten up from the dinner and simply left.

    In this case the OP wasn't really offended by the man's encroachment on the mental plane. She was still up to go clubbing with him. Did he pay for the entry fee and drinks?

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  8. I don't see as paying for entry fees or anything really makes a difference. He could have bought her a car and she's still under no obligations.

    This was a very amusing and creative way to deal with the situation and in the end no one was worse for the wear.

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  9. I'm with the rest of the group that thinks the OP was a pansy for not asserting herself or ending the evening right after Sketchy McDoyoutouchyourself started up with his uncomfortable questions. As much as I appreciate the efforts to bring a little Pride into abcotd during LGBT Month, I think it would have been better to have a bad gay date than this lame one.

    Also, Seven-Thirty, she really should be their surrogate mother. I bet they do stuff like this all the time for her.

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  10. Seven-thirty6/28/2010 9:10 AM

    8:31

    If a person you met for the first time asked you all those inappropriate questions, would you have continued the dinner?

    The OP made it sound like she wanted to go to the club even though she'd been offended.

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  11. Ah, girls! Thank you for making it so easy! Hey! Maybe the next time you kick your crazy plan into effect, the guy will be bi-sexual, and your gay super-heroes will be DTF! What an evening that'll be!

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  12. Yay for anything LGBTQ, but my rule is this: if your plan for ending a date is anything that resembles a sitcom plot, you being woefully immature about something.

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  13. Yeah, OP was totally lame in this case. There's no way the club thing would have been happening with that douche. Plus you have TWO gay couple friends? You should've just called them up and gone clubbing with them in the first place! WAY more fun!

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  14. Wow, people take these stories VERY seriously. I thought her solution was amusing and if her friends were on board to help, then where is the problem here? The guy she was with seemed very unstable so that was probably a wise decision too...who knows where else this could have gone. I think the OP had a good idea and I liked reading this. You people need to lighten up. Hint: nobody wants to date a humorless nit picker.

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  15. I call shenanigans.

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  16. What an over-elaborate scheme, not really fitting any punishment with any crime and just all-around pointless. You gave yourself a pat on the back because you accomplished...what?

    If I called my gay (or even not so gay) friends complaining about this and getting them to "rescue" me for no good goddamn reason, they'd fire me as their friend for being a spazz and not able to handle my own mildly annoying situations.

    You and quirky sitcoms are officially killing the average gay males' free time.

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  17. 11:44, I didn't get "very unstable" from the OP's description of her date's actions/questions. Perhaps just "unstable," or if you want to be more realistic/generous, you could say that he was "inappropriate," "socially awkward," or "a creepster." I don't think this guy was gearing up his night to take the OP to a dark alley and rape her or show her his collection of taxidermied cats. I'm not saying that he couldn't possibly become a threat, but taking a cab home after ending the date early would have been just as acceptable a solution to her creepy-date problem.

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  18. Nikki, do you have a job or is commenting your job? I can't imagine being your boss.

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  19. When you finish your screenplay, I hope they cast Adam Sandler as the date, Paul Rudd and Elijah Wood as one of the Gay Couples, and Cameron Diaz as you. It'll be a rollicking comedy full of farcical situations, slapstick and hysterical gross-out humor, and, after a thorough cleansing from a "Script Doctor," a helluva lot more believable than this claptrap.

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  20. ^ I love you.

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  21. ^^Seconded.

    Also, 6:01, I am fortunate enough to have a job in this economy, which I perform exceptionally well (according to my most recent employee review), despite my fairly frequent stops at abcotd to work out some angst that I am not allowed to take out on the people who deserve it the most--helicopter parents.

    Also, you probably can't imagine being my boss b/c a) you lack basic imaginative skills or b) you don't know me well enough to create a realistic enough scenario in which you would be in charge of me. Sad for you on both accounts.

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  22. 6:01, you can't imagine being Nikki's boss? Try to imagine that she was your boss instead.

    Think of one of the underemployed heroines of Jane Austen, say, for example Emma. Yes, Emma with a Apple computer.

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  23. *facepalm*

    1. I hate Jane Austen.
    2. I'm Nikki, and I'm a PC.
    3. This is getting ridiculous.

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  24. Nikki, Frank is just determined to show you that you are a great person he values highly, despite all the aspersions you cast his way. You see, it's the last of his opinions from his terrible date that might have any validity at all, and his entire psyche is hanging by that ever-so-fragile thread.

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  25. Seriously, Frank, you and the three-time-middle-school class president should get together and breed the only people on earth more insufferable than the two of you.

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  26. Fizziks, can we please friend each other in another forum? I'm pretty sure we'd get along, even outside of our trolling adventures. :P

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  27. ^Love to, my fair Nikkster! Alas, I am not an FBer, but you and anyone wishing to send me hate mail can reach me at phizziks care of gmail. We can work it out from there. <3

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  28. Worry not what I presume to be a pretty little head, Nikki. Thou art named Trolls-bane by Thor, and his brother, Zeus, and their half-cousins, Dolf and Ralph.

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  29. We appreciate your oracle in the midst of our peanut gallery, PD.

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  30. Fizziks, I noticed how you put an e-mail address up so that I could send you personal messages, but I think we should get to know each other better first.

    (Do you think Nikki is starting to like me better? She is saucy, you have to admit.)

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  31. ^I'd ask you to take a minute to ponder how self-absorbed and utterly creepy this post makes you seem, but I realize that if I have to ask you to, you're incapable of seeing it for yourself.

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  32. There you go, Fizziks. Just as I thought you were loosening up a bit (putting out a feeler and all), you come down upon me in that judgmental droning style. Usch!

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  33. Frank, am I going to come home from work one day to find you standing in my bedroom, wearing my clothes, and telling my cat why she's a terrible date? I just need to emotionally prepare myself for such a possibility.

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  34. Chuck Finlay7/22/2010 10:17 AM

    Fizziks and Nikki, get a room already! Frank you can watch. Done. Now let's get back to commenting on the OP's ok?

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