Sometimes Even Backup Plans Fail

Submitted by Gina:

Max took me to a lounge, with the expectation that we were going to a concert shortly thereafter.  Max was younger than I was, but he gave off the impression of being mature and self-made.  He was in law school, and preparing for the bar.

We had a drink, and he threw out this gem: "So I have to be honest with you here... you were my backup plan for tonight."

I asked him, "What do you mean?"

He said, "I was going to be baking chocolate chip cookies with this other girl, but she canceled on me."

I wasn't sure if "baking cookies" was a euphemism for something, but he ordered another drink for himself, downed it in a hurry, and asked, "Ready to go?"

My opinion of him was significantly lowered, but I wasn't ready to write him off just yet.  We climbed into his car and drove to, I assumed, the concert.

It ended up being a small bistro on the other side of town.  He climbed out of the car and asked me to follow him.  I said, "This isn't the concert."

He said, "I know.  We'll get there.  Just follow me, please."

I followed him to a little patio where a couple was out to dinner.  He said, to the girl, "Good thing you canceled.  Look at what I'm out with!"  He pointed at me.

It was probably the most humiliating moment of my life.  I looked at him, and in a flash, I knew exactly what to say:

"Max, you're my cousin!"  I turned to the girl and said, "Don't worry about him.  He's always been like this."

He turned to me.  "What the hell are you talking about?  We're not related!"

I smirked.  "Drop the act, Max.  I'm not in the mood tonight."

"Fuck you, and fuck this," he said, storming off.

I took a cab home, but it was worth every penny.

Guess he never saw this.


  1. Haha that is great. Well done!

  2. Nice job! The best way to deal with a jackass is to make him feel like a jackass!

  3. That is genius. Way to think on your feet!

  4. OP, you are the win.

  5. Hehehe... BURN!!! Good job, OP :)

  6. Did everyone skip past the part where he told her she was second to another girl but "I wasn't ready to write him off just yet"

    Why wasnt she? Is it possibly because he was "self made", in law school and preparing for the bar...? Curious to hear your conclusion...

  7. Bitch should have baked him some cookies.

    Great job OP!

  8. If someone had told me I was their "back up plan"
    on a first date, I probably wouldn't have stuck around long enough to say something as clever as the cousin bit.

  9. 12:20 I get what you are fishing at, but a guy dumb enought to tell someone they were Plab B (and not the contraceptive) isn't going to finish law school anyway. So I doubt there's much gold to dig.

  10. Sorry, Robert! I get so used to quoting times I didn't even check your name. Mea culpa.

  11. Well played.

  12. That one rocked! Love it!

  13. 12:20 maybe it was less for money and more that she was interested in a guy who had some drive and motivation. Nothing wrong with seeking a mate who shares your ideals and life goals.

    Dude was a total dick anyways though so probably a bad call to stick around after his initial dickery, I would have bailed.

  14. ^ Agreed. I'm no gold digger; I've got my own career... but I wouldn't date someone working at McDonald's, with the goal of making manager one day.

  15. I dunno. Being plan B doesn't always mean 'second best'; maybe plan A was just a timing thing--this was a first date after all. Blurting it out like that may have been nerves. Turns out no...but I think it was good of the OP to give the benefit of the doubt and then act when needed.

  16. "Look at what I'm out with!"

    Haha, "Look at the piece of meat that actually said yes to ME!!"

  17. I would have left when I was told I was the backup plan, but hey you can't expect everyone to have some self respect.

    Still, kudos for the cousin comeback, that sounds awesome.

  18. I'm curious, if Plan A canceled on him, how he knew where to find her. I can't see myself telling someone I canceled on the location of the date I prefered.


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