4/19/2010

A Boy with a Whip

Submitted by Tina:

My date with Frank was crazy from start to finish.  He met me at a statue in the middle of town, which was on a traffic island.  Not exactly the most logical place to meet up, but he insisted on it.

When I arrived there, he lifted his shirt to show me that he was wearing a full-length bullwhip as a belt.  "I'll use it if you misbehave," he told me.

I informed him, "I never plan to misbehave around you."

He replied, "Sounds like you're already misbehaving."

I suggested that we go to lunch, and he stepped off the island, almost right into a passing car.  It honked and sped by.  Frank gave the car the finger.  The car stopped.  Frank ran, and I ran after him.

We had made it down a few blocks when we passed a nice cafe.  I suggested that we go inside and he agreed.  A shellacked sausage hung from behind the counter, and when it was our turn to order, Frank pointed to it and said to the cashier, "I want that!"

She glanced at it and said, "Sir, it's not for sale."

Frank said, "I'll have a muffin then."  He pointed to me.  "She'd also like a muffin."

I interrupted, "Actually, I'd like egg on an English muffin."

He wrinkled his nose and whispered, "Egg?  Gross.  Forget about making out with me.  Eggs are chicken vomit."

I didn't reply, but he looked at me as if he expected me to.  He then leaned in as if to whisper something else, but belched right in my face.

"Ugh!" I yelled, right there, in front of the cashier and the few people in line, "Goodbye!"

I stormed out, but he followed me.  He asked, "What's your problem?"

I spun around and asked him if he was drunk or high or both.  He laughed and told me that he wished that he was any of those things.  He then said, "Stop acting all crazy and let's have dinner."

It was the middle of the day, but the fact that he was telling me to stop "acting all crazy" was enough to write this guy off.  I walked away, and this time, he didn't follow me.

13 comments:

  1. cocaine is a helluva drug

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  2. You're obviously not a sub... What website did you meet Him on? And did His profile mention He was a Dom?

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  3. He sounds dumb not dom.

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  4. 11:11 - He's not a Dom. He's a little boy pretending to be a Dom. With someone who has that little self control in public, no Sub in their right mind would trust him with a whip of any kind.

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  5. Yes Fizziks, yes.

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  6. Sounds like you need to get yourself on www.truedreamdate.com and get some better experiences

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  7. You should have said "actually, eggs are chicken's menstrual cycles"

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  8. "Frank ran, and I ran after him."

    "I walked away, and this time, he didn't follow me."

    Did he ever follow you anywhere in the first place? Sounds like you followed him, not the other way around.

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  9. @4:02

    "I stormed out, but he followed me. He asked, "What's your problem?""

    In other words, yes. Yes he did.

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  10. The "bullwhip as a belt" would have been where I'd have ended it, but perhaps that's just me.

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  11. ^ The single tail ("bullwhip") as a belt would have turned me on a bit. Especially if he could demonstrate that he could use it...

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  12. Okay, besides how he acted at the end, (the burping part) this guy was hilarious!

    I would have totally dated him, or at least remained friends with him. He reminds me of my best guy friend from high school - a dork, not hot-spank material, but . . . funny and a good friend who likes doing silly shit.

    This date was hardly bad . . . if anything the OP was the boring one while her date was trying to be pithy and sensual in a BDSM kinda way (but ended up sounded silly.)

    He comes across (please make some puns!!:-P) as a young ignorant guy wanting to try something knew - (oooh S&M!!) and in the cute, inept fashion of geeks like this, did it in an adorable way rather than a suave way. He tries to introduce her into it smoothly with his pithy comment "Sounds like you're already misbehaving" and she doesn't get the innuendo. Just when he was about to prove his manliness by sliding in some smooth bondage and power trip metaphors, he almost gets hit by a car then shits himself when it stops. "Oh Fuck, RUN!"

    That was just the best! Nerd guy wants a chance to be the dom but runs from any confrontation, obviously a sub.

    As for the egg comment - yeah I always go the way of "eggs are chicken abortions" just to clear the air for any hate-fueled rages that could follow (though this guy sounds like he would be very laid-back about these things.)

    I say it was a bad date because this hyperactive kid (probably ADHD) was stuck with an uncreative OP who had never had any younger brothers. He was not a bad date for you. Just a bleh date.

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