It's Not Just the Glue That's Crazy...

Submitted by Ross:

Trina showed up late and with all sorts of black stuff all over the right side of her face.  It looked like a speckled pattern of little pebbles.  I asked her if her face was okay.

She replied, "My friend crazy glued some tree bark to my face.  I spent most of the morning and afternoon soaking it and scraping it off."

"Why would your friend do that?"

She said, "Because he's an idiot.  He does stuff like this all the time."

How curious.  I asked her, "Were you awake during this?"

She replied, "Yes.  No.  I don't know."

I said, "Wow."

She said, "Tree bark!"

I stared at her, said "Wow," again, and then had a very strange dinner in which most of it was spent watching her picking at the tree bark on her face.

After dinner was over, we said our goodnights, I wished her luck with the bark, and that was the end of it all.


  1. hmmmm slow Sunday?

    Can't figure out what fail is bigger...this story or the site for posting it

  2. I'm sorry, what?

  3. A chick goes to a date with tree bark glued to her face... where's the disappointment? She wasn't even sure if she was awake for the gluing or not. C'mon! That was a bad (and amusing) date!

  4. So your date had tree bark glued to her face. So what? You should have offered to bring her back to your place to help her remove the bark, and then help her remove other things...

  5. Poor girl. She didn't stand you up even after she had something horrible happen to her, and what does she get as her reward? An asshole date who posts this story online.

  6. yet another case where it should be the other person posting about the loser posting.

  7. ...I don't really think either date deserves our scorn. The guy had a valid reason for not wanting to date this girl (maybe the guy friend purposely sabotaged her date b/c he's in love with her?), and the girl was so embarrassed that she got flustered when questioned about the tree bark. Whatever. Kind of a lame date, but nothing to burn the internet down over.

  8. Haha, her friend tree barked that ho!

  9. Someone here is barking mad

  10. I guess OP thought her bark was worse than her bite!

    Side note: Yeah, I know it was super lame and totally predictable....so there was no way I could resist! ;P

  11. ^I think we've embarked on a few great comments here.

  12. @12:41

    And what would the bad date look like from the other dater's perspective? "He was such an awful date, he asked me if I was awake when I had tree bark glued to my face! What a loser, I really dodged a bullet from dating a freak who would question why my friend had tree bark glued to my face! He just sat there watching me pick it off my face throughout the date. As if his friends had never done anything like that to him before, my friend does it all the time. It's normal."

  13. Oh, come now, babyforrest. We all know her version would be "Derp derpa d'oh twee ummmmm warm wait I peed myself oooh shiny"

  14. Tree bark!!

  15. For a date, he was clearly barking up the wrong tree


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