From the "Exuberant Red Flag Waver" Department:

Submitted by Ashley:

I work in an office with a few other satellite offices around town.  Ben worked at one of these other offices and he came to mine one day with a small group from his office for a meeting.

We both missed the first half of the meeting because we were so wrapped up in conversation with each other.  He seemed like a terrific guy and he had a great smile.  We made plans to meet up that weekend.

He called me a little less than an hour before our date to ask if we could postpone for the next day.  I had plans for most of the next day, so, a little put out, I offered to reschedule for the following weekend.

We chatted by phone a couple of days that week, and by the time the weekend rolled around, I was ready to forget all about his last-minute rescheduling. 

He wasn't, though.  He showed up with four dozen (yes, 48) long-stemmed roses.  He apologized over and over, and, while I think it was kind of over the top, I gave him a great big hug.  Everything seemed fine.

At the restaurant, we talked about this and that, and we began discussing our jobs.

As it turns out, he hated working where he did.  He hated it so much, that at one point during dinner, he pounded the table, and flecks of spit flew out of his mouth.  I'm sure it was probably more than he meant to do, but it gave me the first inklings of discomfort.

At one point, he said, "And I'm pretty sure that my boss is cheating on his wife."

"How do you know?" I asked him.

"I saw him with another woman.  Well, I saw another woman going into his house."

"You were at his house?"

"Yeah.  Across the street from it.  I followed him home."

Hoping to make light of a rapidly discomforting conversation, I joked, "Is that why you canceled on me last weekend?"

He stared at me.

Oh no.

Oh yes.

He stammered, "Did I... did... how would you know that?"

Uh oh.  Me and my big mouth.  I said, "I was just joking around.  I didn't really imagine that you..."

"Did he put you up to this?  I wouldn't put it past him."

I shook my head.  "No.  Ben, I–"

He put his fork down over his barely-began dinner and waved over the waiter.  "Check please," he said, "I'll take mine to go."

Ben then took out a wad of cash, slammed it on the table, and stood up.  He turned to me and said, "I hope this was worth it.  Now I know," and left me there.

I finished my dinner and went home.

The next day at work, I told my boss what had happened, and Ben was fired.  I still wonder if it was the right thing to do.


  1. Definitely the right thing to do. What a psychojerk. Stalking his boss should definitely be grounds for termination.

  2. Sadly a lot of women fall for "terrific guys" like that and get battered senseless. At least he didn't try to stalk you.

  3. Can you imagine if you had said nothing, and later, he hurt the boss (or worse)? You would have been kicking yourself and agonizing over it for many years to come. You did the right thing!

  4. I feel like I've read this somewhere before

  5. Of course that was the right thing to do. However, going on dates with guys at your company is the wrong thing to do. I would imagine that didn't help your career any.

  6. So you went on a date with a guy from work, and ratted him out to your boss with information that he let out about his uncontrolled rage at the company, ultimately ending up with the psycho getting fired.

    This is how women develope serial killer stalkers.

  7. Anon 1:27 and 1:46 -- are you guys serious? This wasn't just a disloyal employee (which is bad enough), it wass a person who posed a potential physical danger to the boss.

    Anon 1:46: it sounds like you have a bad date story in your past somewhere -- I can't think of any other reason why you'd take your anger out so outrageously on a woman who did the right thing.

  8. Yes, you absolutely did the right thing. Don't listen to the naysayers - This man was threatening his bosses safety, as well as your's (potentially). You were right to pass on the information.

  9. Oooo, Anon 1:46, I wonder what YOU do in your free time! Probably it's hard for you to decide who to stalk next, with all the cunts out there who've done you wrong.

  10. Anon 1:46: It is pretty clear that YOU are the guy profiled in the story.

  11. Now the boss knows you know he cheats, have you asked for a raise yet?

  12. Wow! These people are unbelieveable. I don't agree that this girl had no recourse but don't assume heresay will automatically get this guy fired. He must of been on his way out already.

    This guy probably could bring a lawsuit against the girl and the company. Not that I have any facts though ...no worse than blatant naivity of some of the other posters. Yeah, this girl said so and so said this stuff and I got him fired by telling my boss who told his boss.

  13. Good luck to him if he tries to sue. He will just end up with a bunch of court documents posted on some state website documenting his insane criminal behavior. He won't get a good job then. I hope he likes pumping gas for a living.

  14. I don't understand why people stay in jobs they despise. If he hated being there so much that it lead him to stalk his boss (which is a crime, BTW) then why wouldn't he leave the company? It appears that she is describing a corporate environment, implying that the people working there have some education and upward mobility. Instead of stalking someone, he should have used his personal time to look for a new job. Oh and of course the OP was right to report that. I have seen people fired for much less. It's called "at will" employment and it is the norm in the USA.

  15. i dont think it is classy for her to ratted him out. Im mean, sure she could give his or her boss a warning about him, but no need to call his name right?

    1. Why the hell not? If you know a co-worker is stalking your boss, why withhold the information?

  16. There's absolutely nothing wrong with dating a co-worker. I met my husband at work and we've been married over 20 years. My parents' wonderful marriage of nearly 50 years started when they met at work. The problem in this story wasn't co-workers dating -- it was that one of them was severely off his meds.

    But I still don't quite understand what happened here. Did he cancel the first date because it conflicted with the time he preferred to be stalking the boss?

  17. You absolutely did the right thing! He sounds like a stalker. I would have done the same thing. I applaud your courage. That was definitely stalking behavior what he did to his boss. Kudos, girl! ;)


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