10/27/2013

Scandal in the Wind

Story Sent in by Vivian:

Henry came to our date with a gift: a fat scented candle that smelled like putrid artificial fruit. I thanked him and carried it with me as we went all about town.

After a nice meal and a riverside walk, he asked me if I was ready to break out the candle and use it. I told him that I'd probably use it at home. He asked me if I was sure, since (as he said), "Home wouldn't be my first choice for a summoning."

"A summoning? Of what?"

He said, "It's a summoning candle. It'll raise a spirit for you, but probably a menacing one, so I wouldn't do it at home. Your decision, though."

I was confused. "You gave me a candle that can supposedly summon a menacing spirit? Why?"

"Uh, well it's good luck to light them, but out in the open. Still, you can take your chances at home if you want. I wouldn't."

I had never heard of such a thing before, and I asked him a couple of times if he was just kidding around. He struck me as dead serious, though.

I suggested, "How about the two of us light it right now? Together?"

He said , "I'd rather not. The spirit might be angry with me. I've had this candle for years."

"So you thought that giving me such a thing would be... nice?"

He said, "You seem nice, but you're just some online stranger. Better you than someone I really know. No offense."

I walked the candle over to a nearby trash can and put it next to it. "You can't do that!" he yelled as I walked away from him and the candle. "Hey! Hey! You can't do that!"

The only spirit I was menaced by after that was a phone call from him, detailing how he had to appease the spirit of the candle. What a weirdo.

5 comments:

  1. What utter nonsense... what kind of limp-wristed evil spirit would be summoned by a fruit-scented candle? Chunky Horse says YOR DOING IT WROUNG!!!11

    ReplyDelete
  2. Steve, I saw this and thought of you - read the whole page and see what the finishers get...
    http://www.toughguy.co.uk/online-entry/details/tough-guy-marathon/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Who knew Cthulhu liked candles?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Isn't this the second time we've has some superstitious twit give their date a "cursed" artifact? It's almost like the ignorance successfully cancels out the malice.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.