Scandal in the Wind

Story Sent in by Vivian:

Henry came to our date with a gift: a fat scented candle that smelled like putrid artificial fruit. I thanked him and carried it with me as we went all about town.

After a nice meal and a riverside walk, he asked me if I was ready to break out the candle and use it. I told him that I'd probably use it at home. He asked me if I was sure, since (as he said), "Home wouldn't be my first choice for a summoning."

"A summoning? Of what?"

He said, "It's a summoning candle. It'll raise a spirit for you, but probably a menacing one, so I wouldn't do it at home. Your decision, though."

I was confused. "You gave me a candle that can supposedly summon a menacing spirit? Why?"

"Uh, well it's good luck to light them, but out in the open. Still, you can take your chances at home if you want. I wouldn't."

I had never heard of such a thing before, and I asked him a couple of times if he was just kidding around. He struck me as dead serious, though.

I suggested, "How about the two of us light it right now? Together?"

He said , "I'd rather not. The spirit might be angry with me. I've had this candle for years."

"So you thought that giving me such a thing would be... nice?"

He said, "You seem nice, but you're just some online stranger. Better you than someone I really know. No offense."

I walked the candle over to a nearby trash can and put it next to it. "You can't do that!" he yelled as I walked away from him and the candle. "Hey! Hey! You can't do that!"

The only spirit I was menaced by after that was a phone call from him, detailing how he had to appease the spirit of the candle. What a weirdo.


  1. What utter nonsense... what kind of limp-wristed evil spirit would be summoned by a fruit-scented candle? Chunky Horse says YOR DOING IT WROUNG!!!11

  2. Steve, I saw this and thought of you - read the whole page and see what the finishers get...

  3. Who knew Cthulhu liked candles?

  4. Isn't this the second time we've has some superstitious twit give their date a "cursed" artifact? It's almost like the ignorance successfully cancels out the malice.


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