We Didn't Click

Story Sent in by Akio:

I took Anne out for a quick coffee just to see if we'd click. While there she asked if she could take a photo of me. I didn't see any harm in it. I smiled for her camera but then she told me not to smile. She snapped her picture and I asked her what it was for.

"Just for my collection," was all she replied. We talked about other stuff including books we were reading, different Meetups we were in, and even what banks we used (I use TD Bank).

When the date was finally over she thanked me for the coffee and we went our separate ways. An hour or so later she texted to ask me if I was sure I used TD Bank.

I wrote back that I did and asked her why she was asking. She replied that she was at a TD Bank ATM and it wasn't recognizing my face from her photo of me. She said she had put the brightness all the way up and the ATM's "facial recognition scanner" didn't seem to recognize me.

Aside from the fact that I don't think TD Bank used such scanners, the larger question was why she was attempting to access an ATM with my face in the first place. I texted her back to ask her that very question and she replied, "Is there another bank you use?"

I then told her, "Actually there is. Try Bank of America, Citizens, and Wells Fargo. I have accounts at all three of them." I don't really have accounts at all three of them, but the idea of her running around to a bunch of different banks to access my accounts through their "facial recognition scanners" was too much to pass up.

She wrote me back the next day with a frowny face emoji and the words, "None of them worked."

I texted back, "Keep trying!" and stopped responding to her further messages.


  1. Tell her it only works if she tattoos your face on her hands.

    (my condolences to anyone who watched the latest season of Prison Break..)

  2. Maybe you could provide her with a helpful DNA sample?

    1. Do you want kids? Because that's how you get kids!

  3. Isn't that....what's the word I'm looking for....illegal?


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