Burger Queen

Story Sent in by Gary:

When I was out to a first date dinner with Maxine, she received a phone call from her younger brother. She put him on hold and asked me if I'd be up for visiting him after dinner. It was a weird thing to ask on a first date but I told her it would be fine. She hung up with him and I asked her where we'd be visiting him. She said he worked at a local mall's food court.

Maxine's brother, Liam, worked at a burger place that looked out to a big atrium. When we made it there, Maxine asked me buy something because Liam's boss might have been watching. I ordered a small fries.

Maxine asked, "That's it? Can you order something bigger? We might be talking here for a little bit."

I said, "I'll just eat the fries really slowly."

She said, "You're gonna get Liam in trouble. Now order something bigger. Just for looks, okay?"

I didn't really want to but I also wanted the argument to be over so I ordered some burger combo. When it was ready I passed it over to Maxine. She asked, "What are you doing? I don't want that crap!"

I said, "I don't want to eat a burger. I'm not hungry. You eat it."

She said, "Gross! I'm not eating it! You have to eat it while I talk to my brother! His boss is probably watching!"

I refused. "There's no way I'm eating that."

She said, "If neither of us eat it then he has to. His boss is watching!"

I said, "Then I hope Liam's hungry."

Maxine called me something nasty then handed the burger to her brother. She said to him, "I'm so sorry you have to do this. Because of someone!" and she stared at me.

Her brother then began to cry as he ate the burger in silence. Maxine said things to me like, "Look what you're making him do!" and "I hope you're happy!" and "I can't believe you'd be so cruel."

Not that that wasn't enjoyable but I finally said that I had to go to the bathroom and I left.


  1. Hasn't poor Liam suffered enough? But you don't think about that do you OP, you only think about yourself.

    Also, in searching for memes, I ran across this. It kind of fucked up my day.

    1. I don't think I've ever seen anything that is both so terrifying and so adorable at the same time.

    2. Wait, never-mind. I have.

      I have kids.

  2. Liam doesn't want to jeopardize his career in burger making by being sacked talking to his sister while working. With such a display of cleverness and intelligence from his sister, that's probably the highest level of employment members of this family can aspire to!

  3. What is with the excuses for the bathroom? Just leave. The brother should be working at his job and not having to use food as an excuse to chat.

  4. Why didn't you just order a drink? It's pretty easy to sip one slowly or even just pretend to.


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