Mail and Female

Story Sent in by Damien:

The Saturday morning of my date with Elise, she called me in a panic. "Can you get to 55 Hillock Street in Masonville right now?" We weren't due to meet for about 40 minutes but she sounded really upset. I asked her what was wrong and she told me I'd find out when I arrived.

When I arrived I found her with her arm stuck in one of those blue mailboxes. She said, "I sent something I shouldn't have sent and I tried to fish it out and now I'm stuck."

It would've been comical if she wasn't so deadly serious about the whole thing. I asked her why she didn't call 911 and she said that they'd send the police and she'd get in trouble. Fair enough. Why not call a friend or family member? She said they'd ask her what was in the letter she had sent and they'd think much less of her if they found out. And she feared being late for our date so... apparently that left me.

I couldn't remove her from the mailbox. I went to a nearby pharmacy and bought some Vaseline and brought it back to her in the hopes that it would help her remove her arm. It didn't.

I kept asking her if I could call for help and she kept yelling at me not to. After a little less than an hour of shifting back and forth, she removed her arm from the mailbox and I hoped we could continue with the date.

However, she reminded me that she wanted to take back the letter she had sent. She decided to wait at the mailbox for the mail carrier to come by so that she could beg to take it back. I was done with her at that point so I wished her luck and went on my way. I hope it worked out.


  1. See, that's the beauty of a connection between mail and female. In her time of crisis, you didn't letter down. You took in the situation and enveloped the crazy but didn't go postal. Even though that was your only date, I'm sure it left a stamp on your heart.

  2. So, I'm guessing her arm was only "stuck" because she refused to stop trying for her mail. Learn to let go.


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