You Passed

Story Sent in by Dave:

In college, Nick came up to me and asked me out. He wasn't in any of my classes but said he had walked by me a lot and always wanted to introduce himself. We ended up at a local restaurant for dinner.

He had apparently led an amazing life. He had moved around with his family to four continents and he was the youngest of six boys. He had lots of interesting stories to tell. So much so that he talked about himself the whole time. Not that my life was terribly interesting when compared to his, but still I had hoped he'd be interested in talking with me as opposed to merely at me.

At the end of dinner he handed me a folded paper. I unfolded it to discover that it was a 10-question, multiple-choice test. There were questions like, "What's the name of my eldest brother?" and "Where did I live when I was eight?" It was a test about his life story.

"I just want to be sure you were paying attention," he explained.

I wasn't about to take a test about this guy. I asked him if I could take it home (without planning to fill it out, of course) and he said that he wanted me to answer it then and there to be sure that I wouldn't "cheat."

I politely turned down the opportunity to take his test and we didn't go out ever again.


  1. When self absorbed quickly turn from merely annoying to downright creepy.

  2. What is really scary is when you start to think about the thought process involved. He made the test beforehand. That means he planned what he was going to talk about. That means that no matter what you talked about, there would be absolutely no organic conversation. He had a planned lecture on his favorite subject that you were going to hear, then he'd give you the test, which you would pass with 100% because the subject matter was so fascinating. Then it would be sexy time. I mean, who doesn't get all hot and bothered after a lecture and a pop-quiz?

    1. I imagine he practiced his lecture over a solo dinner at home, with a mirror propped up in the second chair, just to make sure his material covered the length of dinner.

  3. I kinda feel like this was an experiment for his Sociology class...

  4. ^ please let that be the case!


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