Sinko de Mayo

Story Sent in by Corey:

I thought it would be fun to take out a paddle boat on a local lake. There was a place right on the water that rented them and so I invited OkCupid date Briana to spend an afternoon on the boat with me.

We had paddled out to a far end of the lake, near a small island. We were talking about the types of trees around us (she was apparently a botanist) when all of a sudden she stopped short.

There was a little bit of water inside the boat (it had splashed in at some point) and she pointed at it and yelled, "Leak! Leak! I can't die!" and then she jumped into the water (it wasn't too deep where we were) and sloshed her way to the island.

I called after her, "It's not leaking! It's just some water that splashed in!" But Briana refused to come back into the boat. I paddled back to the boat rental place and explained that my date had exiled herself to the island. The girl who ran the rental place had to go out in a motorboat to collect Briana and bring her to shore.

I showed the very non-sunk paddle boat to Briana and she said, "You probably just fixed it. It was leaking. I know it."

Whatever, Captain Ahab. Won't be asking you out again.


  1. Anyone else think of that old commercial with the romantic canoe ride where they spring a leak and the woman "cleverly" shoves a tampon in it?

    1. I specifically did not think about that commercial.

    2. I specifically thought about how I was not thinking about that commercial, and then thought "that's so weird Bob, that's the sort of thing you would think about and then write a sonnet about."

    3. Were they in the Red Sea?

  2. I really thought that boat was going to sink. I wasn't ready to die!!! It's not my fault the asshole fixed the boat after I left it.

  3. Op missed out on the blue lagoon experience with Briana.It could of been magical.And Briana is as neurotic as George Costanza at a child's birthday party when a grease fire breaks out.

  4. Was it just me who thought it would be a bit weird if a place that rented out paddle boats *wasn't* "right on the water"?


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