The Lawnmower Man

Story Sent in by Marlena:

I went on a couple of dates with Bernard and I don't think either of us were really feeling it. For our third date he actually invited me to his house on a Saturday morning to help him mow the lawn. I told him that I'd pass and that was the last I thought I'd hear from him.

Around 6am that Sunday morning, however, I woke up to the sound of a lawnmower going off right outside my window. It jolted me awake and I looked outside to find that Bernard was just standing there next to a running lawnmower. He asked me if I forgot about our date and I practically shouted him out of my yard and away. He ran off down the street with the lawnmower and I never saw him again.


  1. Is anybody thinking Patrick Dempsey from "Can't Buy Me Love?I think that's what Bernard was going for.Only thing though is that Op just wasn't feeling it...

    1. I agree, poorly conceived and executed rom-com "big gesture."

      Swapping the corny music for the sound of a two-stroke engine: not romantic.

    2. Bob - most lawnmowers are four-stroke. GOD!

    3. I was going to say that, but thought I'd sound like a lawn mower elitist ass hat. Thanks for taking that bullet Steve.

    4. I seriously love that movie. Which is probably why I didn't think of it in this context...

      But I did think of another lawn mowing protagonist, with a big helping of threatening.

    5. I am a proud elitist when it comes to internal combustion engine technology.

    6. I was so ashamed I was unable to gather the strength to post my apology to all lawnmowers until this morning.

      Please forgive me!

  2. I recall someone once said that, contrary to popular belief, the grand romantic gestures of rom-coms would, at best, creep the girl out and at worse get you Tazered by the cops.


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