Can't This Be Punishable By Death?

Story Sent in by Mick:

Ana picked me up and drove us to dinner at a place in a strip mall near a movie theater. She parked her car across three spots. As she stepped out of the car I asked her, "You want to fix your parking?"

She gestured to the other open spots around us and said, "We don't really have the time. There are plenty of other spots for people." Yeah, that might have been the case. But still, taking up more than one spot is kind of thoughtless and it didn't bode well for any kind of relationship. Though maybe I was nitpicky.

At dinner we were seated at a table with four chairs. There were only two of us. But that didn't stop Ana from grabbing a few extra chairs from other tables and setting them up around us. I asked, "Are we expecting more people?"

She laughed and said, "No! I just like having more chairs around."

Color me confused. But whatever. Dinner went pretty well and then we went out to her car. By this time there was apparently a film showing at the theater and the lot was considerably more packed. There was a nasty note under Ana's windshield wiper but she just crumpled it up and said, "I get those all the time. People are just jealous of my awesome parking spots. Ready to go home?"

More than ready, you wacko.


  1. Psychopathic behaviour that. Check the local news regularly and sooner or later you'll find her mugshot.

  2. You're damn right it was a nasty note!She dove a Kia.That's like putting lipstick on a....a Kia!

  3. She needs to get woke, yo.

  4. I really do carry these around even though I'm typically too chicken to use them. Might have to start carrying these and these around! I would definitely leave these under her windshield wiper.

    1. I wish there was something like that for my language, they're great.

    2. Loved them but darn it, I was SO hoping you'd found the one that I've been looking for. Years and years ago, I was with someone who parked like an idiot. I asked them to fix it but got a snide remark. When we came out, someone had put a much copied "parking ticket" under the windshield. It had something about hoping the fleas of a thousand camels infested their arm pits and a number of other similar insults. I kept it for years, planning on redoing it but I lost it. I've googled and found some similar but nothing as awesome as that one. By the way, this is the FIRST time I've actually clicked on the links here, I've been afraid of what I might find! :)

    3. Heck yes, I'm "afraid" of the links here! :) And no, a version of the one you linked is similar but not quite like the one I saved for years. Every time I search, I find that one or some other very close to it but not to the wonderfully insulting one I saved for years.

  5. Ana needs to retake Driver's Ed.


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