The Cherry on Top

Story Sent in by Mae:

In college I went on three dates with Jeremy. The first two dates went really well and we spoke a lot over email and over the phone. I had no indication that anything was awry.

On our third date we walked around the campus and sat near the chapel. It was a chilly fall day and so we both wore heavy coats. After we were quiet for a couple of minutes he turned to me and said, "You know what I love the most about you?"

I asked, "What?"

He then pulled out a container of Hershey's chocolate syrup and squirted it all over my chest and face.

I screamed and shoved at him and stood up but he kept squirting it out at me. I ran away screaming and he chased me for a little bit but soon gave it up when other people began to notice. I was mortified and went straight back to my dorm and cried. She suggested I call campus police and report it as an assault. I was hesitant at first but that's exactly what I did.

And you know what? I heard he was put on probation, that a report of the incident would be attached to his record, and he was to remain far away from me at all times. My college career definitely picked up from there.


  1. He was really misinformed on the concept of the money-shot. Maybe he was so nervous he had the Hershey squirts?

  2. Frat dare.

    OP = unsuspecting DUFF.

    1. Anyone else seen that surprisingly cute movie?

    2. Of course! Just because I'm fat/old/bald/married, doesn't mean I don't keep up with the latest teen rom-coms!

  3. I like the movie as well as the book.Although their a bit dif.I'm semi old and married and never get tired of teen angst movies.Breakfast Club foreva!

    Oh yeah,the dating story...I think Jeremy was trying to recreate some steamy scene from a random Skinamax movie that included chocolate syrup or the shower scene from Psycho so it was best to run away in terror since she was not sure what the hell was going on.This was a case of coo coo for cocoa.I wonder if Jeremy also has a restraining order to be at least two table spoons away from chocolate syrup.

    1. Mel, this was all I can think of too. Good thing OP ran before she asked to meet Jeremy's mother.

  4. I think Jeremy needs to stop taking romantic advice from movies.


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