12/07/2016

Last Place in the Human Race

Story Sent in by Jennifer:

Joe said he'd meet me in front of a Thai restaurant that I liked a lot. I assumed that meant that we'd be going to dinner there. I took my time getting ready and arrived right on time.

He pulled up in a Mercedes and revved the engine a couple of times before he rolled down the passenger-side window and asked, "I like to be straight up early on: am I getting any tonight?"

I said, "I hadn't planned on it."

He replied by revving the engine a few more times and driving away.

It's too bad. He was cute, and if he had been decent in addition to handsome, he actually might've scored.

17 comments:

  1. Wow, not even the pretense of a date before asking if he was going to "get any".

    Douche bag level: MAX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Countermeasures against Dinner Wh0res.

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  2. "I hadn't planned on it" does NOT = "no."

    Younger Steve would have sweet-talked those pannies right offa her...

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  3. Now I'm not so dumb as to say all men are this way, but I was abstinent until I met my husband. I would be a wealthy woman if someone gave me a dollar for every guy that dropped me like a hot potato after he found out. I started telling people first thing after a few years to weed out the dicks. Then of course there were those who didn't take me seriously, as if I was just saying that, or who thought they could "convince" me.

    long, hung over rant short, some guys think, live and breathe with their dicks. His loss OP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a pretty risky move Bananas. What is you tied the knot and you guys weren't sexually compatible? Just curious.

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    2. Bananas had to weed through the forest of dicks being constantly thrust towards her general direction...

      Some guys think it's all a "numbers game." I don't know if it's even a sex thing, as much as it is an ego thing. They need to feel like they "vanquished" something.

      Me? I was happy for any table scraps thrown my way...

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    3. Archie, once you get old/fat/bald/married, you ain't really sexually compatible with ANYONE. So you might as well just go ahead and marry the person that makes you laugh. Or has a bunch of money.

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    4. I was lucky. My wife picked me and she likes me despite me being old, fat, poor, and bald (not quite). I definitely married up. As Katie Girl (may Chunky Horse devour her soul) would have said: Best relationship EVAH!!!!111!!!!1!

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    5. My strategy was to target girls with daddy issues - they were more likely to put up w/ my crap...

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    6. She said she was abstinent until she met her husband, she didn't mention waiting til after marriage.

      Eh, I'd probably go on the dates to decide if I wanted to sleep with someone, I wouldn't decide ahead of time.

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    7. We did end up doing the deed before signing the license, but I call waiting until after we were engaged close enough.

      To answer archy, a lot of sexual chemistry comes from the emotional chemistry between two people. Whether you're in love or just having a drunken night of fun, mutual minds always find a way to make it work. Fortunately for me, I haven't quite become old/fat/bald yet so it's pretty fiery. hopefully I never do hit the bald mark

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    8. Why is it that the girls who always comment put out, never put out IRL?

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    9. Bananas required a conflict diamond before allowing access to her vadge. How many child soldiers had to die, just so your hubz could get his rocks off? I hope it was worth it...

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    10. Actually, my ring has synthetic diamonds in it, and no one calls it a "vadge" anymore. You're falling behind, Steve. How many decades ago did you reach old/fat/bald stage? Shame. *rings bell* Shame.

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    11. Welp, technically, I was born fat/bald... the old/married came later... dotdotdot...

      Delete
  4. I just wanted a date to the sock hop then one thing lead to another and before I knew it,I was tripping dice at Harrah's in Vegas sporting"my precious".

    ReplyDelete

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