"LeBron James's Feet" Scent Seemed Like a Good Buy

(Howdy! I'm at the Austin Film Festival this week. If any of y'all are down here, give me a shout! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Chris:

I invited Viola over for dinner. I cooked and lit some scented candles and then she arrived.

She hadn't taken two steps into my apartment when she sniffed the air, grabbed her throat, and ran for my bathroom. I heard her heaving through the closed door and I asked her what was wrong.

She said it was my candles and so I was quick to blow them out and and toss them in a closet. Viola remained in my bathroom for a good 20 minutes before she finally exited. The food was cold and I directed her to the table to eat when she gagged again, grabbed at her throat, and stumbled out of my apartment, into the hallway, and far away from where I'd ever follow her. And that was the end of it all.


  1. "Come on in, I made us dinner!"

    Yeah, candles weren't going to help you out there OP.

  2. "Desperation," by Yankee Candle.

  3. Were they poop scented by any chance?

  4. Corpse scented candles are all the rage right now, what was this chick's problem?

  5. As a Clevelander I could probably see those candles being made. GO CAVS!

    Personally, I bet she was put off by his Axe body spray, instead of the candles.

  6. I bought a candle that smelled like fresh cut grass and it did indeed smell like fresh cut grass minus the exhaust emissions.I think Viola(Mama's Family!)suffers from a a case of chemical sensitivity.I have a friend who has it and she get's very sick with certain scents.It did not matter that OP blew the candles out,the smell would still linger.I'm indeed curious of what scented candle OP was using.It really did set the mood that evening.Just not the right mood OP was opting for.

  7. Chemo patients can be incredibly sensitive to artificial fragrances. I get sick if I smell that someone sprayed Febreeze in a room five days ago. Scented candles make me toss my cookies.

    1. Nom!!!! We missed you (okay, I missed you).

    2. My fan club of 1! I missed you too.

  8. Maybe she didn't like the smell of a hamper full of dirty undies mixed with a Febreeze candle!

  9. The part of this story that makes no sense is that you lit scented candles.


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