Dick Dock

Story Sent in by Russell:

I sat down with Anita and she told me, "I've been on a lot of dates lately with guys who are dicks. I hope you're different."

I replied honestly. "I think I am. How were they dicks?"

"By asking me nosy questions. Like that."

I laughed, feeling stupid to have walked into her game. I said, "Sorry. I guess it's none of my business."

She said, "Oh, so now you don't care? Guys hurt me and you don't care?"

I replied, "You told me I was being nosy. I care. Just share what you want with me."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

That was a conversation killer. She drank down most of her wine and I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't set her off. Of course, she called me on that, too. She said, "And now you're giving me the silent treatment. Okay."

"What would you like to talk about?" I asked her.

"And now you're being passive aggressive."

"I'm not."

"And now you're lying about it. Great."

If any girl deserved a guy who'd be a dick to her, this one did. I told her, "I'm going."

As I stood to head out she said, "And now you're abandoning me. What a waste."

I'll say. And I never looked back.


  1. This one made me laugh out loud! Real life trolling, I would call it. Did OP found her under a bridge?

  2. Same as Benoit -- I mean, this one is comedy GOLD! I won't be surprised if this shows up as a sketch somewhere.

  3. You should have hit her in the face with a pie, OP.

    I think she was definitely trolling him. The first two I might believe but then she just went too far for reality. Hope he made her pay for her own meal.

  4. Can you imagine what kind of man would live up to her standards?
    Another thought, maybe she was testing him to see how far she could push her luck. But come on, who hasn't done that, right? right? Am I right? Right!

    1. Well of course we've all done that once, but I'd like to believe it's for the sake of laughing about it with the guy. My poor husband just doesn't realize I'm messing with him until I drop the act and tell him I am. He's a good sport, that one.

    2. OMFG, rubbing it in my face again...

    3. @ Bananas - That's because your husband isn't stupid. Because the first time he assumes you are jerking him around and makes a joke about it, is going to be the time that you are deadly serious which will then lead to an argument that will last until 3:40 AM of the morning he has a big meeting with his boss and twenty clients. Boyfriends can get away with this crime. Husbands can't.

    4. Rotfl I would never allow an argument to last that long. I can't speak for other women but an argument that lasts more than thirty minutes is probably no longer worth having as far as I'm concerned. I'll usually stop us, or he will, and we'll break and come back to it later as a conversation when we're calm.

      Unless he starts googling things to "prove me wrong", in which case the man is going DOWN.

    5. Bananas picks fights just so she can have non-comment makeup sex... Dat ain't right...


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