Stinky Boots

Story Sent in by Beulah:

My bad: I have two pairs of same-brand boots - one black and one dark brown. On my way out to meet Lester for our date I somehow grabbed a mismatched pair and didn't notice until I met up with Lester and he said...

"Two-color boots! Are you a circus clown?"

I was horrified, as I'm usually really good at keeping them straight. I laughed it off and said, "I grabbed them in the dark. I guess at least one of them goes with everything."

He pointed and said, "You're a circus clown, tonight! Circus clown!"

A ha ha ha... okay, then. Yep. I hoped that would be the end of it. But then he said...

"I was going to take you out to La Guitare, but where would a circus clown go? I know! Follow me!"

He led me around the block to a McDonald's. He said, "Ronald McDonald's house! You two will have lots to talk about, seeing as you're both circus clowns and all."

I said, "All right. It was funny about the mismatched boots. Can we maybe move past it?"

He dropped the act and said, "Seeing me clearly wasn't important to you, since you didn't even take the time to pick matching boots, circus clown. Now we're eating at McDonald's because of you. Maybe next time you'll get it right."

He led on to McDonald's, hale as a tried warrior in the fullness of his strength.

My boots carried me quickly and quietly away, and that was the end of the date.


  1. These boots are made for walkin'
    And that's just what they'll do
    On this date these boots are gonna
    Walk away from you

  2. You know, Ronald doesn't take too kindly to people making fun of clowns.

    This guy clearly liked to dominate and cow his partners into submission through verbal abuse and withholding affection. So glad you got away from this creep.

    1. Oh yeah. Any guy that does this to someone is clearly manipulative and will set you up from day one to be his scrambling side kick that apologizes every time they breathe and calls their friends crying because "I messed up again!"

    2. Mild reaction from Ronald. He could be so much worse...

  3. I think I'd probably be chubb'd if a chick accidentally showed up with 2 different shoes... If she made THAT mistake, what other mistakes could I talk her into?...dotdotdot...

  4. I'm just relieved you left then and there, OP. Any good-natured person would have laughed your oops boots off and moved on. This guy was a butt.

  5. What a douche. I bet he didn't even notice you were gone.


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