Where Do I Sign?

Email Sent in by Nicole:

Hello dear Nicole,

Your photos are beautiful. Are you a model? You should be. If you are not one then I have a best friend who is a model agent. His number is 2125550199. If you call him he will bring you to the pigpen and as you to turn around a few times and remove all clothes. All just to make sure you are the right measurements. Your clothes will go right back on of course and you will be allowed to leave. He has done this with me several times and I have modeled for him. If you call me at that number then we can move forward with your blossoming new career! Or you can just stay a stupid accountant. Your choice.



  1. The pigpen is where Chunky Horse got HIS big break...

  2. Tell your friend to go to Craigslist or FetLife, not have you troll major dating sites to appeal to your fetish.

  3. A pigpin? Questionable ability to leave? No clothes!?! I'm in. I hate being a stupid accountant.

    1. You can crunch my numbers anytime, baby...

    2. You can crunch my numbers anytime, baby...

  4. I like how he says the phone number is his "friend's" number, then later says "If you call ME at that number..." Can't even keep his shit together for a single paragraph.

  5. JMG, did you have to scrub the number? We could have had some fun with that.


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