Too Late. He's Home.

Email Sent in by Bruce:

Hello man!
I am seeking husband to replace husbands. My husband is not at home and he will be but when he comes back I will be gone from here. I need a place to go and your profile came up first. NOT A SCAM. I am true Russian and will want to be not home when husbands comes home. He will come home and look in the kitchen and the closet and the bedroom and the mirror and when he does not find me he will bellow and he will not find me. Can you help? I am looking for a man husband to replace husbands. I cannot pay in money but what I will take I will pay back and more. Can a man really be a man if he does not help those in need? I am in need and


  1. The six mail order Russian brides that live in my attic agree this isn't a hoax.

    Also, the moment I read "I am true Russian" I completed the email in a stereotypical Russian accent.

    1. I read it that way too.

      Ending in the middle of a sentence. Guess her husbands came home early.

  2. Why can't Maria Sharapova send ME emails like this? Sigh...

  3. This one is kinda sad. I think she is probably being abused and can't figure out any other way to get herself out.

  4. Yeah. That cut off sentence is a little ominous.

    1. He definitely came home and murdered her mid-sentence.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.