The Monster in the Mirror

Story Sent in by Alberta:

During dinner, Perry mentioned more than once that the coffee shop he was taking me to after the meal was in a bad neighborhood. He assured me that their drinks and desserts were excellent but that I had to "be on my guard."

After the meal we walked to this fabled coffee shop. The whole while Perry muttered, "Try messing with us... just try it... I'll protect you... someone's gonna try... just try it... I'll mess you up..."

Perry was about five and a half feet and stick-thin. He did this weird sort of walk in which every several steps he'd raise his ankle (on both feet), touch it as if he was feeling for something, and then keep walking.

He caught me looking and he said, "Protection. Don't worry about it." To be honest, he was frightening me more than anything else.

When we finally made it to the hole-in-the-wall place, it seemed... fine. Not in a bad area at all. But even when we sat down with our drinks, he felt down at his ankles more and more.

I asked, "Do you have, like, a gun?" I asked him.

"Better," he said with a wink, and left it at that.

I never found out what it was (I was afraid to ask, truth be told) and coffee was a quiet, awkward affair. He offered to walk me back to my car several times but I refused him politely each time.

He asked, "What if you're attacked? You'll wish I was there with my secret weapons."

I said, "I can put up a fight. Thanks, anyway."

"I might be able to put up a better one. I'll come with you."


"Sure. But when you're attacked, don't say I didn't warn you. This is a bad neighborhood."

I was able to make it back to my car alone without incident, although I did look over my shoulder a couple of times. Mostly to ensure that Perry wasn't behind me.


  1. He had nunchucks and a rape whistle tucked away, just in case...

    Unless he meant something entirely different when he said "protection" ...

    1. You nailed it with "protection" Steve!

      Also, I'm thinking ninja stars.

  2. My only question this whole time... why his freaking ankles?? I feel like I'd be dead before he fished his secret weapons from his socks.

    1. He was bootlegging some French Ticklers...


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