Between Not Now and Never O'Clock

Story Sent in by Sandra:

I was at a cafe during my first time out with Chris. We talked about our families for a while. He was one of seven children and he droned on and on about how that made growing up a real challenge and how his brothers always stole his girlfriends and so on and so on.

After about 40 minutes of that talk, he said, "Brass tacks: when's naked time?"

"N-naked time?" I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly.

He explained, "You know. Time to be naked together. It's a special thing that a guy offers when he really likes a girl. Do you prefer top or bottom?"

"I... this is a first date."

"Do you want to wait for a second date? That's a bit unusual. Most girls and I do naked time by the end of the first date. But it's up to you. I guess."

Suddenly and excruciatingly uncomfortable, I said, "I don't think that's a good idea, tonight."

He sat back with a smile. "You on the rag tonight? No problem. Next time."

I said, "Excuse me for a moment," and I walked toward the restrooms, then beelined for the exit. I felt bad about ditching him, but it was really his own fault for being a dick.


  1. This gentleman graciously offered to postpone said naked time until a second date, or until a time when the ragbeast subsides. He even offered her the choice of position. Jeez, learn to recognize a keeper when you see one!

  2. I wonder if that tactic has ever actually worked?

  3. Well, he did get to the point. Sadly, that point was at the top of his little pin head.

    @ Steve - "Do you prefer top or bottom?" Come on, her choices were seriously limited there. This guy needs to watch some instructional videos.

  4. "You on the rag tonight? No problem, next time."

    He's so nonchalant, as if that could be the only reason this girl would say anything but "absolutely! It's naked time!"

  5. I bet he orders his steaks well-done with a hefty side of ketchup.

  6. I bet he orders his steaks well-done with a hefty side of ketchup.

  7. You know, just one time I'd like this to end with 'I said "I think I'm going to go now" and I left' instead of sneaking off and ditching them.


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