A Perfect Day for Bicycle Fish

Story Sent in by Russel:

My first date with Norma was at a great seafood place that we both loved. We split entrees, found out that we liked the same novels and TV shows, and basically had what I would call one of the best dates, ever.

We also liked to bike, and our next date was a leisurely ride down a local bike path. There were trees, fields, a small river, and even a lake. It was a beautiful day and everything was going well. At first.

After we stopped for lunch and readied to bike again, Norma said, "I read a good quote recently: 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.' And now we're biking. Strange coincidence, no?"

"I guess. I'd like to bike whether or not fish needed bicycles."

She didn't reply, but we set off on our way around the lake. A minute or so later, Norma took off, away from the path, right toward the lake.

I shouted after her, but she plowed on and drove her bicycle and herself right into the water. She thrashed in the lake, rose to her feet, and yelled, "A fish needs a bicycle! A fish needs a bicycle!"

I biked down to the water's edge and helped her pull her bike out of the waist-deep water. "Are you all right?" I asked her. At this point I was concerned for both her physical and mental well-being.

She laughed maniacally and yelled, "A fish needs a bicycle!" and jumped into the water again.

The lake had old leaves and algae and didn't seem like the best place for a swim. Once she was done flopping around she climbed back onto her bike and pedaled far ahead of me.

A little less than an hour later I reached the end of the bike path but she kept pedaling down the road and eventually out of sight. I'm not sure what her game was, but I wasn't about to chase the crazy. I went home and figured that she'd contact me if she wanted to talk. I guess she never did.


  1. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

    But does a fish need a man?

  2. Please tell me this was a classic "act crazy to get out of a bad date" and not a "I'm off my meds" moment.

    1. Eh. Little from column A, little from column B.

  3. Kudos on that title, JMG.


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