Eye Had Dodged the Bullet

Story Sent in by Ami:

"Oh my God!" Andrew exclaimed upon first meeting me, "Your eyes are huge."

He had seen my profile pictures. We had video chatted. He had likely been on dates before and had some idea of what to say and what not to say. And yet that was his opening line.

"They're my eyes," I said unapologetically.

"They're like squid and fly eyes rolled into one!" he said, then buzzed like a fly.

Because he reminded me of my younger brother when my younger brother was little and annoying, I said, "So... maybe we're not a good match."

He said, "I'll say! Bzzzzz..." He put his hands at his eyes and wiggled his fingers around, then buzzed around me once and then took off at a fast run down the sidewalk.

For a little while after that, I actually felt pretty bad for myself. Were my eyes really freaky enough to make a guy turn down a date?

But then I realized that he was an immature asshoIe and that I had dodged the bullet.


  1. Dear Ami,
    You have a NEW match! Click here to see your soul mate.

  2. Is Ami the girl from the previous post? Insected?

  3. Next time, Ami, I'm sure you'll have a handy retort.

    But, yeah, dodged an every-social-encounter-and-family-event-destroying bullet

  4. Chantilly lace and a pretty face
    And a pony tail hanging down
    A wiggle in the walk and giggle in the talk
    Makes the world go round
    There ain't nothing in the world like a big eyed girl
    That makes me act so funny, make me spend my money
    Make me feel real loose like a long necked goose
    Like a girl, oh baby that's what I like


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