Don't Reach Out

Story Sent in by Anthony:

My first messages to Kari went great. Talking on the phone went great. The first hour or so of our date was great. I took her out to a giant game of freeze tag that a friend of mine had organized (it was just chilly enough out to not work up a massive sweat) and then dinner.

We talked about all kinds of things but I'll fast-forward to when she asked to look at my palm. It was unexpected and I asked if she was a palm reader. She said she was and she studied my lines.

"Oh God," she said, drawing back suddenly. "You have the death spiral."

"That doesn't sound good."

"It isn't. It means certain death for you and everyone you come into contact with."

I said, "Do you have a time estimate to go along with that? A year? Ten? Sixty?"

"Soon. Very soon," she said.

I asked, "But if I've had it my whole life, what makes you certain it'll happen soon?"

"That's how the death spiral works. Oh God... and I just touched you..."

She stood up and practically fell over herself to make it to the bathroom.

She came back a few minutes later a bit calmer. "What did you do?" I asked.

"Washed my hands. A lot."

"And that cleans the death off?"

She said, "If done quickly and ritualistically."


It was hard to take anything else she said too seriously after that, even though we strayed to other topics. She made no motion for the check when it arrived, saying, "I don't want to risk touching you again."

We left. As we said goodbye, I brushed her shoulder with my hand in an attempt to set her off. She flinched away and that was pretty much the end of it.

She never contacted me again, but every few months, I actually do send her a short message that says, "Still alive."


  1. "Yes, Officer. No, this isn't a joke. I went out with this guy once and now he's stalking me from beyond the grave!"

  2. You ever think about singing her a little song to let her know how you feel?

  3. I have bad news op, you and everyone you know will die...eventually.


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