Unless it Tastes Like a Pumpkin Spice Latte...

Story Sent in by Judith:

In his profile photos, Daniel looked normal. When I met up with him, he had a weird purple stain all around his mouth. At first I thought it was from food, but upon closer inspection I saw that it was some kind of skin... thing. It was a weird skin condition that looked kind of shiny in certain light. What didn't help matters was that he kept licking it.

In his defense, he was really nice. I enjoyed talking with him throughout dinner although his facial issue was just too much to ignore. And he just kept licking it! I wanted to reach out and grab his tongue and tell him to stop it! But I didn't.

And maybe it was my imagination but the weird face thing seemed to actually grow. Not all of a sudden but by the middle of dinner it was definitely bigger than it had been when I first saw him.

"Is your face okay?" I finally asked as I was truly concerned.

"Yep," he said without further explanation.

After dinner we took a brief walk and he went in for a kiss. I leaned away and he said, "It's not contagious. Come on." He tried again and I again leaned away.

"Come on," he said again, "you'll like how it tastes." He went in a third time and I moved away once more. It looked positively sticky and I was just too grossed out.

Taking the hint, he stepped away from me and said, "I don't get it."

"It's a little fast for a first date," I told him. He seemed to understand. I'm glad. I wasn't about to put my mouth anywhere near that weird growth. We parted on good terms and I went home.

He asked me out again and I turned him down. I just couldn't shake the image of him licking his purple face.


  1. He just blew Barney the dinosaur and wanted to spread the love

  2. I know the growth was bad, but how about the rest of his face?

    @ JMG - Oh Jarrrrrrrrred, love the title!

  3. He's probably been hitting the sapho juice. Did you hear him muttering something about it was by will alone that he sets his mind in motion?

    Anyway, maybe OP would like to get together with this girl. Lots of face licking to be had for all.


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