Spies Unlike Us

Story Sent in by Juanita:

I went out on one date with Billy to a bar and he explained to me over drinks that he sold medical equipment for a large company. "But the owners are like a bunch of children," he said, "so I'm leaving there to start my own company."

That was pretty exciting to hear. I asked him, "What kind of company are you going to start?"

He said, "Same thing. Selling medical equipment. But I'll just run it better."

"So you're going to be competition to your current company? You didn't sign any kind of non-compete clause or something when you joined, did you?"

He asked, "What do you mean?"

I replied, "Let's say you go to work for Coca Cola. I've heard that they make you sign an agreement saying you won't then go work for Pepsi or start your own beverage company or whatever. Trade secrets and all that."

He gave me a long, hard look. "How do you know that?"

I said, "I just know it. It's like one of those things that people just find out somehow."

Continuing with his weird stare, he said, "Because that's exactly what a corporate spy would say."

"I'm sorry... what?"

He said, "You work for them! God, I should've guessed. How dare you spy on me."

Before I could reply, he stood up and left without paying the bill. He had hardly touched his drink. Upset and furious, I called a local friend who came over to commiserate a little while later.

I wrote to him when I made it home to tell him what I thought of his behavior and to remind him that his spy theory was bull as he had in fact messaged me first.

The next morning, his profile was gone from the site.


  1. Hey OP, was this guy sporting any unique fashion statements? That might have been your first clue that something was amiss with his brain bits. Sometimes you just can't show your true self on a first date.

  2. Hey, what if the government actually started the rumors that tinfoil blocks the mind control rays because the tinfoil actually helps? Like an antenna?

    Sorry OP, guess you'll have to go back to corporate espionage school. This guy is too savvy for you.


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