I Love Lamp

Story Sent in by Connie:

There was a little indie coffee shop in town that I always wanted to try, so when Larry asked me if I had any ideas for our first date, I thought it was a charming choice.

Each table had a little antique electric lamp, each with a different design and lampshade. When we sat down, it was all Larry would talk about.

"Look at this lamp! It's so bright and metal!" he said.

"It sure is," I agreed.

He picked it up and placed it on the floor. "If I don't put it away, I'll just look at it all day."

"O... kay."

He then picked it back up and put it on the table again. "I just have to keep looking at it. It's beautiful. When's your birthday? You want a lamp like this?"

"August. Um... maybe someday?"

"Why not today?" he asked.

Okay then. We chatted about each other a little bit but mostly about that lamp. I did my best to change the subject but he was pretty single-minded. He even asked to speak to the owner to inquire about purchasing the lamp, but the owner said it wasn't for sale.

After we were done there, he said he wanted to check out some local antique shops to see if they had any similar lamps. We found one a little over a block away and he looked over everything in the store as if they all might have been a lamp in disguise. He looked over an antique wheelbarrow and even a collection of Curious George books before finally turning to me and saying, "Doesn't seem to be a similar lamp, here. Should we go back to the coffee shop and see if I can buy that lamp?"

"No," I said, "It wasn't for sale."

"Everything's for sale! I'll prove it!" he announced, then ran out of the store without waiting for me. I was in no hurry to follow him, so I strolled out and looked around but he was nowhere in sight.

I returned to the coffee shop thinking that if he was there, I'd at least see a fun performance. He wasn't there, and so I just went home. I never heard from him again, and I'm glad for it.


  1. Wow OP, he really had a serious boner for that lamp! It must have been a real piece of art. I'm sure it would have really set off the decor in his apartment. Oh well OP, guess you'll have to find your own special lamp without him.

  2. ^^^--- Good ol' Archive, leaving the easy one for me and all. Must be Italian.

  3. Both of you deserve a major award ! I have to confess though, that I almost hurt myself laughing at the bad taxidermy one.


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