Takeout Opens Doors

Story Sent in by Charles:

I spoke to Theresa for about two weeks online before asking her out. My original plan was to meet her at a restaurant for dinner, but she called me about 40 minutes before our date to tell me that she couldn't leave her house because her front door wouldn't shut. I asked her for details and she said, "I've tried everything. I close it, it opens. I've tried opening it all the way and then shutting it, I've tried slamming it shut, I've tried everything. Nothing is stuck, nothing is holding it open. I have no idea what's wrong with this thing."

I offered to swing by to check it out. She almost lived on the way to the restaurant, after all. And what a good chance for me to possibly impress her.

After my arrival at her place, she ushered me to her door and demonstrated how the darn thing simply wouldn't stay shut. It was on a spring, and the latch wasn't catching for some reason. I dug a screwdriver out of my car, fiddled with it for a minute, and shortly thereafter, it was working fine. Something was probably just caught somewhere, but bottom line the job was done.

"Thanks," she said, "You can go now."

I said, "Aren't we...? Are we still meeting for dinner?"

She said, "Uh..." then slammed the door shut in my face. I knocked a couple of times, hoping that it was all just a misunderstanding. I guess it wasn't. I ended up with takeout and no Theresa whatsoever.


  1. So many of these non-dates lately.

    Insert lame jokes about being a door mat and not getting screwed despite having a screw driver, here.

  2. Well she was clearly very paranoid to leave her door unlocked. She's fearful. Maybe she got a bad vibe from your appearance and it gave her a red flag pointing towards danger?

    Either that or she thought OP looked better in pictures.


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