A Penny Spurned

Story Sent in by Susan:

On my first date with Jeff, we were out to lunch when he asked me to loan him $20. I asked him what it was for and he said that it was a surprise. I therefore told him that I wasn't altogether comfortable loaning a guy I just met $20.

"Why do you hate surprises?" he asked me.

I said, "I'm sure you can understand: I just met you. What if I asked you for $20 and wouldn't tell you what I was using it for?"

"I'd give it to you. No question."

"Okay," I said, "Give me $20."

He laughed and replied, "No. This isn't about me. Come on. Just loan me the $20. You'll be glad you did."

I reached into my purse and handed him a penny. "That's all I'm giving you."

He said, "Really? That's it? At least give me a dollar."

"No. Surprise me with a penny."

He laughed. "What kind of circus monkey do you think I am?"

He threw the penny at the table with such force that it ricocheted off somewhere and made me jump. He said, "Give me a goddamn $20!"

"No!" I practically shouted at him.

He said, "Hope you're not expecting me to pay for your goddamn lunch, then."

I said, "Hope you're not expecting to see me again."

He then stood up and actually went table to table, asking people to let him borrow $20. It didn't seem like he met with much luck and while he was at it, I quietly slipped enough cash on the table to pay for my half of the meal (it was less than $20) and I slipped away into the afternoon.


  1. The surprise, I suspect, was that he'd take the $20 and run.

  2. ^ Which is exactly what he did with the cash the OP left on the table by the way.

  3. I kind of thought he was going to use the $20 to pay for lunch. Good plan, dude!

  4. Maybe he needed investors for a chunky horse sequel


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