What the Beep?

Story Sent in by Herb:

I was out to eat with Joan on our first date and we were sharing funny stories. When I was done telling one, she laughed and said, "I have to show you something. I promise it's related." She took out her iPhone and dialed a number. Beep beep beep went her phone. Ten numbers. Twenty numbers. Fifty. Over a hundred. What was she doing?

I asked her, "Are you dialing Jupiter?"

"Just hang on... hang on..." she said.

She kept going. Well over 200 numbers. I said, just joking, "I have plans for next week, so–"

"I can't..." she mumbled, "I can't..."

"Can I help?" I asked. She and I both had iPhones, after all.

"I can't stop dialing... I... I think I'm cursed..." It was a mumble, but that's what it sounded like she said.

"What?" I asked, positive I'd misheard her.

"Cursed... cursed..." she said, then stood up with her purse, keeping her eyes on her phone, still dialing, and walked right out of the cafe.

I assumed that she was just punking me and that she'd be back to say it was all a joke. Or maybe she was ditching me. I wasn't sure, but I assumed the latter, although I honestly couldn't say why she'd do that.

I didn't have long to wonder, though. A minute later, she came back in, still dialing her phone. But she didn't come up to me. She walked up and down the aisles of tables, still dialing away. Then she walked out again.

I waited to see if she'd come back once more, and sure enough she did. She hurried in, still dialing, walked up to our table, drank down the rest of her water with one hand while she kept dialing with her other, and then hurried out again without a word.

She didn't return. We hadn't ordered anything yet, but I took a sandwich to go. On my way back to my car, I saw her on the other side of the street, fast-walking and dialing and dialing. I chuckled to myself at the crazy woman and drove off. Didn't see her again.


  1. She must have seen the infamous Chunky Horse and it worked its evil magic.

  2. 'Ol Chunky would have a phone number that was thousands of digits. If you're going to summon him, you'd better be darn well willing to pay long distance.

  3. ^ No, His phone number is only six hundred and sixty-six digits.

    And that's why you shouldn't do meth before a first date.

  4. I think she had just seen that movie Short Circuit 2 and was trying to communicate via touch-tone songs that her EVS was flaring up but OP was too dense/musically-declined to pick up on it.

  5. Totally behind Tourist on this one. This affects more than the phone; peeps with OCD like this usually also have an oral fixation. Your loss, OP.

  6. Can't you tell all that she is using "call back" humor

  7. Holy crap ! I think that last poster's name-from-the-depths-of-Horse-Hell is a sign that Chunky Horse is displeased with all the above observations (although they were hilarious) ! *backs away...


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