Bath Time

(The beginning is the promise of the end. What does that mean? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Emily:

In college I was a party girl. One morning I woke up covered in bedsheets in a bathtub. I had no memory of how I made it there in the first place. I threw the sheets off, found myself fully clothed, and made for the door. It was locked.

I knocked on it, pounded on it, tried to force it open, and shouted out for anyone. There was no response. I might've been the only person in... wherever I was. There was a window, but it was small and I couldn't squeeze myself through it. Thankfully I had my phone on me and I called a friend.

When I looked through the window, I was able to see an alleyway leading to a street with houses on it. I could barely make out a number on one of the houses, and so I described that to my friend. My friend advised me to call the police, and so I did.

Once I had described my location to the cops, I remained on the line with them. While I was on the phone, the door opened.

In the door stood an unfamiliar shirtless guy with bloodshot eyes. I was so shocked that I didn't have anything to say. But before I could make for the door, he said, "You're mine, now," then slammed the door shut and locked it. I pounded on it, but the cop on the other line told me to stay calm. He said they knew where I was, and that if I should do anything, it would be to lock the door from my side to prevent the guy from coming back. There was, unfortunately, no lock on my side from what I could tell. I just kept a hand on the doorknob and hoped I'd be strong enough to stop the weirdo from coming back in.

A little after the longest five minutes of my life, there was a pounding at another door from somewhere else in the house and the words, "Police!"

I put an ear to the door and heard the weird guy say, "There's no one here but me and my roommates."

I shouted, "I'm here! I'm here!"

Next thing I knew, a giant cop wrenched the door open and I practically threw myself at him.

From what I eventually was able to piece together, I had blacked out at a party the night before and the weird guy took me back to his house, claiming to be my "boyfriend." Thankfully, he had likely passed out before doing anything to me.

Suffice it to say, I took much better care of myself after that.


  1. This sounds like a great DATE.

  2. @ Fizziks - I think we both know who this guy is, don't you?

  3. In what universe does this constitute a date? Beyond the rapist & serial killer universe? This is just a fucked up story.

  4. @ Archie - /shudder! But you're right.

    This guy acts like her shining knight at the party, but then......

  5. @ Fizziks - FTW!

    @ Nom - At least she had access to plenty of lotion to put on her skin. No hose for that girl!

  6. Emily is the bad date here. She has the unique opportunity to become Papa Lazarou's wife and she calls the police instead. Unbelievable!


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