Starry, Sorry Night

Story Sent in by Rafael:

I walked in a park under the stars with Marie when we took turns identifying constellations. We had made it through about a half dozen when she said, "This isn't something I normally brag about the first time I meet someone, but I have an actual constellation named after me."

"There's a Marie constellation?" I asked, looking to the sky, hoping that she'd point it out for me.

She said, "No, I mean the constellation was actually named after me, personally. By my father. He was an astronomy professor and wrote, like, 50 books. He got the honor to name a new constellation and he named it Marie after me. I'm the only human who has a constellation named after her."

Of course it was BS, but I played along for a little while. "Can you show me where it is?"

She pointed up at a set of stars. "That's Cepheus," I said, "Maybe it's somewhere else?"

She pointed to another set. "That's Hydra," I said.

She pointed to another and another. "That's Bootes, and that's Leo," I said respectively.

"No!" she said, "One of them is Marie! They're all Marie! My father named it! He's a respected astronomer who wrote 50 books on astronomy. He named a constellation Marie after me. It's that one! That one!" she said, pointing to Cepheus again and again.

"That's Cepheus," I reminded her.

"Marie!" she corrected, "My father was an astronomer who wrote over 50 books. What have your stupid parents done?"

"Raised a son who doesn't lie about constellations, for one," I said.

She became pretty mad at that although she didn't say anything nasty. She simply said, "We have to go right now or I'm going to do something I regret."

To my surprise we then went to a bakery and her whole mood lightened. It was as if she hadn't lied about the stars at all. It was actually a nice time, but I didn't really want to see her again after that, so I didn't.


  1. Did anyone else Google Marie+constellation after reading this?

    NO? Oh. Me neither.

  2. It is indeed possible to name a star in the sky after someone you care for

  3. If by "name", you mean "pay a company $59.95 to write my name in a book next to a star designation", then yes.. Yes it is.

  4. I'll be she obsesses about, and stalks Daryl Hannah.

  5. I found this clip about Marie's dad. He was definitely a famous astronomer.


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