Spit it Out

Story Sent in by Rochelle:

Aaron spat out wads of phlegm twice as we were out together. The first time I said nothing. The second time I told him that it was pretty gross.

He asked, "How about instead of being judgmental, I teach you how to do it right?"

I said, "I would just prefer if you didn't do it."

In response, he did it again. He said, "Are you usually this controlling?"

"Never mind," I said, anxious for the date to be over as soon as possible, "Let's just go to dinner."

On the way to dinner, he hacked up gobs a few more times, almost rapid-fire. At dinner itself, he tried to give me a history lesson: "Humans have probably been spitting out phlegm for hundreds if not thousands of years. It's natural, when people have excess mucus. Doctors everywhere agree that it's normal and natural."

"Could we not talk about this at dinner, please?" I asked him.

He said, "It's a normal and natural human process," and went on about it for a bit longer until I stopped giving him the satisfaction of my disgust.

When he unsurprisingly didn't hear from me afterward, he emailed me over the dating site to say, "Is this your way of rejecting me? Almost no one has ever rejected me."

I wrote back, "Sorry. I think it's a normal and natural process." He didn't reply.


  1. This guy sounds really full of himself. I bet he even carried around one of those composition notebooks and everything.

  2. Why would you continue the date? Is a free meal worth that.

  3. "Never mind," I said, anxious for the date to be over as soon as possible, "Let's just go to dinner."

    Date could have been over right then and there. Is it really that hard for people to eat alone.

  4. Jaye,

    YES, a free meal IS worth that. A free meal is worth ANYTHING to a dinner whore, because they have some sick mental condition where having a meal bought for them by a guy they hardly know makes them feel validated as a female. It strokes their "shego."

    Men are much simpler. They just want to get laid...

  5. Interesting fact: during the 1918 flu pandemic, many cities made spitting in the street illegal to prevent the spread of the disease. People could be fined up to a dollar (a hefty sum at the time) if they were caught doing this. I imagine this guy wouldn't be too happy if he lived back then.

    As for the dinner whore issue, I tend to be a little more forgiving on that front. Many women are often too timid and just go along with a date when they really should end it ASAP. I can't imagine anyone looking for a free meal putting up with this dude's phlegm throughout, but that's just my opinion.

  6. @Reading In a lot of cities, it's still illegal to spit in public. The rule doesn't get enforced very often.

  7. With you re: women fearing ending a date early. I'm generally forthright and strong-willed, but when it comes to dating, I have had a history of not trusting my gut/letting things come to their natural conclusion instead of leaving early.


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