I Don't Want to Set Your Head on Fire

Story Sent in by Mirabelle:

In my early twenties I went on one date with Bruce, who had close-cropped, dark hair. We were on a walk and had arrived on the topic of student loans. I mentioned how high payments were, etc. He said to me that he was having no trouble making payments at all. As Bruce worked in a video rental store, I asked him how he swung it.

In response, he pulled out a lighter and asked, "Would you pay me $500 to see me light my hair on fire?"

Horrified, I said, "No!"

"Four hundred?"


He sighed and said, "A hundred for part of it?"

"No! Are you being serious?"

He shrugged and put the lighter back in his pocket. "I can't go below a hundred."

I stared at him and said, "You can't be serious."

He said, "That's how I do it. Don't look down on me."

I didn't look down on him, but I felt bad for and frightened of him. That effectively killed the conversation and any hope of a second date.


  1. op, you should have asked him how much to set his pubes on fire. he probably would have done it for free just so he could pull out his weenie on a first date.

  2. Setting your hair on fire, that's just crazy. If he had grown his hair long, then shaved it off and ate it for money, that's totes sane. Just don't die of a hairball.

  3. I successfully use the same kind of bargaining, but for sex rather than money. I'll set my arm-fuzz on fire for a handjob, burn my eyebrows for a BJ, and set my hair for fire for full PIV sex. (This is why I'm bald.) I'm saving my nosehair for a girl who's willing to do anal and/or a relationship. And to think, some people claim I'm not a romantic.

  4. So there was a guy that was willing to do embarrassing stuff to himself and was willing to haggle on the prices? Yet another date I wish I was sitting at the next table for the free entertainment. This is the kind of guy I'd love to have at a fund-raising event.


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