Dunk Driving

Story Sent in by Siena:

As I sat at a hotel bar with a glass of wine, Chris approached me with his own glass of wine and struck up a conversation. He seemed smart and fun, and I enjoyed our talk.

After a few minutes, he asked me if I wanted to see a trick. I told him that I did. He put a paper napkin over the mouth of his wine glass then turned it upside down, over his lap.

I don't know what he expected to have happen, but what did happen was that his wine spilled all over his lap!

He shouted an expletive and mopped at his lap with a handful of napkins. "No! No! No!" he exclaimed, "That wasn't supposed to happen!"

He then grabbed my glass of wine, slammed a paper napkin atop its mouth, and turned it over, above his lap. Again! And the same thing happened!

"Jesus Christ!" he yelled, then hobbled to the bathroom. I felt less bad for him and more upset that he had wasted my wine. I waited for him to return, and he did after a little while. I asked him to replace my wine he had spilled, and he agreed to.

He paid for it when it arrived, but before I could drink it, he grabbed it and said, "Third times the charm," then popped another paper napkin over it, and one final time dumped it all over his lap.

"No!" he yelled, then ran for the bathroom again. By the time he came out, I was long gone.


  1. That wouldn't have happened if you were in an airport wine bar.

    I know what he was trying to do because I've seen it done with a sheet of paper (not absorbent) and not a napkin (absorbent).

  2. What kind of loose woman hangs out at hotel wine bars? Sophisticated ladies hang out at AIRPORT wine bars.

  3. All this talk about airport wine bars is making it difficult for me to sit still.

  4. I wish I could have been sitting at the next table over, just so I could watch this guy pour wine into his lap over and over again.

    I don't know why you left OP. I would have stayed and even offered "suggestions" - "maybe you're supposed to pull the napkin taunt over the glass" "maybe the glass has to be completely full to the rim" etc, just to see how much wine he would end up pouring on himself before he finally gives up.

    OP, it's true that you missed out on finding a good date connection, but you also missed out on tons of free entertainment.

  5. Something's wrong with you, Tourist, but I really, really like it.

  6. Chunk Horse does this same exact trick... except, of course, he uses the blood of virgins instead of wine...

  7. @ Steve - His Chunkiness is loving these dates of late since ladies can't get laid to save their lives.

  8. @Tanette13 - if a woman who sticks around with a bad date just to get a free meal is called a dinner-whore, then you can call me an entertainment-whore. I will stick around long past the point of "this isn't going anywhere" if I detect entertainment value in the situation.

    @Fizziks - I tried to get you laid once - remember? I rooted around in there for a bit and kept tripping over all that furniture. You definitely don't suffer EVS. Note to self: Next time, bring a flashlight. Oh, and if no one claims that couch, I call dibs. I'm sure I can get those stains out.


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