10/17/2013

Basketcase

Story Sent in by Miriam:

When Jason first messaged me, one of his questions was who my favorite basketball team was. I told him that I wasn't into basketball, though if I had to pick, it would be my hometown Seattle Sonics. His next email included a dazzling array of statistics about the Sonics, none of which I cared about. He was otherwise nice and personable, and we eventually set up a date.

He insisted on challenging me to a one-on-one basketball game in a local elementary school's court. I wasn't really feeling it, but thought at least it would be a good workout and possibly a good way to learn more about him.

He warned me at first, "I'm not gonna go easy on you," and he didn't. He beat me easily. I had worked up a sweat and wanted to at least shower and change before we did anything else. I proposed parting ways temporarily and meeting up later on.

He said, "I won the game so I set the rules: I say since I won, you have to shower with me."

I laughed that idea away, but he persisted. "I won! I won! You have to do what I say. I won! I won!"

Over and over I turned him down. He finally gave up, saying, "Fine! I'll go shower by myself! See how you like that!" and he stomped off in a huff.

I liked it just fine. I didn't expect to see or hear from him again, so I was a bit surprised when he left a message on my voicemail less than an hour later to tell me that he was done with his shower and wanted to know when we were meeting again.

We didn't.

6 comments:

  1. Uh, yeah, let's meet up at quarter after never. Thanks, that'd be great.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, the eau de douche of someone treating you like a video game level to be beaten rather than someone to connect to. I'm sure this ends up in first date shower sex for him all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I won! I won!

    Frankly,
    Steve

    P.S. - Basketball is stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The only thing missing here is outing the guilty and a tracking app so we can mock these losers perpetually.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ^ Hey, JMG, can you get on that? The ABCotD Trolling app would be awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Meh. Whatever. We all know there is only one way to win at basketball anyway.

    ReplyDelete

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