Wish Splash

Story Sent in by Leah:

I was out on a first date with Ron when we walked by a park fountain and he said, "Let me see your keys. You can tell a lot about a person through their keys."

Hesitant but intrigued, I handed him my keys. He looked them over and said, "According to these, you're—"

He threw my keys into the fountain and looked at me with a smile. I shouted and told him to recover them. He said, "Make a wish!" I guess as if he had thrown a penny into the fountain.

I said, "You'll wish you got my keys. Get them back before I throw you in, weirdo."

"Never!" he said then booked it through the park and away from me. I had to hike up my dress and recover the keys, myself.

He sent me an email afterward to say that he had a good time with me (our date was all of 20 minutes total) and asked what I had wished for.

I didn't want to write him back, but I did: "To never see you again. Wish granted!"


  1. My cat threw my keys into a fountain once, but retrieved them for me. And by "threw" I mean ate, and by "keys", I mean my favorite Smug Lady Lawyer action figure, and by "retrieved", I mean left for me in a steaming pile in her litter box. I'm so lucky to have found her!!!!11!!1!

  2. My perfect boyfriend, the illustrious architect and marine biologist Art Vandelay, once designed a fountain. He proposed to me last night in front of it. It was a perfect proposal with fireworks because the entire nation was celebrating our perfect love!

    Now all my friends here get to hear about my wedding plans! I know you're all so happy for me and can't wait to hear all the details of my perfect upcoming wedding.

  3. @ Devil - Will my cat and I be on the guest list? (Breathlessly waiting for a reply while doing a #3)

  4. Op, I am glad you got your keys back even though you had to get them yourself. At least you avoid an overgrown man child.

  5. This makes me glad my keys are on a chain attached to my jeans most of the time.

  6. Weddings! I love weddings! Drinks all around! Congratulations Art and Devil! Team Artvil! OP I am also delighted you got your keys back. Though my imagination ran wild and I thought he was gonna steal your car. He didn't, so that's good.

  7. Are there any dates where, when the OP goes along with potential douchery, something Good happens instead - either a beautiful act disguised as a joke, or a real-time karmic bitchslap against the offender?


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.