An Institute You Can't Disparage

Story Sent in by Annette:

A little less than a year after Rory and I started dating, he invited me out to a really nice restaurant in the middle of town. He had dropped a hint or two about rings and engagements, and so I was pretty sure that he was going to pop the question then and there.

Imagine my surprise when our mutual friend Elise showed up as well. Rory told the host, "We're all here," and the host led us to the table. Rory had made a reservation for the three of us? Why? Did he want Elise there as a witness to the proposal? I was soon to find out.

For all intents and purposes, it seemed like Rory had just asked Elise and I out for a friendly dinner. That wasn't too unusual, but it was a really expensive restaurant and we had all dressed up for it. It wasn't the kind of place you just went to on a whim. He also paid way more attention to Elise than he did to me. Another red flag I didn't see waving me in the face.

Shortly after we ordered dinner, Rory said, "I'm glad you're both here. It's a special night." He reached into his pocket and bent down on one knee, and for a moment my heart jumped into my throat.

Then he turned to Elise and said, "Elise, will you marry me?"

My heart nearly stopped. I played the words over and over and over in my mind, positive I had misheard. For her part, Elise laughed and said, "I'm—I—no. Rory, you're dating Annette, aren't you?"

Rory said, "That doesn't matter. I've wanted you. I—"

I didn't see or hear much more, because I was up on my jittery feet and crying. I didn't want to cry. I hated myself for crying, for showing him how much he hurt me, but I couldn't stop it. The next thing I knew, Elise was leading me out of the restaurant and put me into her car. She drove away from the restaurant with me.

"That was right out of left field," Elise assured me, "I swear I had no idea what he was planning."

Elise and I had been friends for years, and I believed her. Needless to say, Rory and I were through after that, although after a week of waiting, he proposed to Elise again, over the phone. She turned him down a final time, and that ended things permanently between us and Rory. Elise and I are still friends, but I haven't heard from him since then. I don't think Elise has, either.


  1. I don't believe this actually happened.

  2. Wow, that was brutal. The cynical side of me thinks that Rory and Elise were creeping behind the OP's back. The optimistic side thinks Elise really is innocent and that Rory devised a really shitty and hurtful way to end the relationship so there was no going back. This was too well thought out and just fucking mean.

    This story makes me glad that my perfect fiancé, Art Vandelay, is perfect as is our relationship.

  3. Op seems clueless on multiple fronts, did she know that she wrote this story.

  4. I like the "I don't THINK Elise has, either." My emphasis, but still, not much conviction there. I think the OP should start stalking them both on Facebook looking for any kind of thin connection she can cobble together.

    Also, Rory is a douche.

  5. Woooooow. Did this really actually happen? Like, really? Are you sure you were dating for a year? This is just too unbelievable. I just... nope, something's just not right here...

  6. I think Devil has the best guess at the "why" question. But it still doesn't explain him calling Elise again after a week and making another go of it.

  7. "Rory and I were through after that, although after a week of waiting, he proposed to Elise again, over the phone. She turned him down a final time, and that ended things permanently between us and Rory."....Curious what was going on during that week.

    Also I'm inclined to be less of a doubting Thomas on this one, but largely because I've been acquainted with not one but two guys who honestly seem confused that popping the question at random ladies doesn't result in an ecstatic "YES! Oh god yes! I've fantasized about this moment even tho we barely speak to each other at work!"

  8. Did Elise vomit on him or something?

  9. Op, the only reason rory dated you was to see if you had any hot friends he could go after, and that where Elise came in. And he thought he could make her jealous by dating you so when his plan backfired he thought proposing to Elise might make her want him. When that too backfired he didn't know what to do so he thought he try again.

  10. The weirdest part is that he felt the need to have his girlfriend along when proposing to another lady. Which I could see if hanging out with her is the only way the two ever interact, in which case he's kind of an even bigger nutjob. You might want to wait until you can reasonably spend time alone together before popping the question.

  11. If this did really happen...

    That's not burning bridges. That's calling in a tactical nuclear carpet bombing to not only take out the bridges, but the surrounding towns and anyone who'd ever heard of said bridges.

  12. DR, I like your analogy. And OP, damn, I'm sorry. That sucks. And it's okay that you cried. Natural reaction. Damn. Very large bullet dodged, and I'm not talking about Howie's...er...um...Anyway, sorry that happened.

  13. I want to find this guy and hit him upside the head. If you know me, I'm not a violent person at all. (You don't but take my word for it) What an asshole! I feel like that word is too weak for his assholary. I mean even if he liked op's friend better for real why would he have op present while he made a move ( and not a traditional move at that), for any other reason than to hurt op?
    I wish op had behaved like those reality show girls and threw her drink at his face and punched him while he tried to recover.

  14. And ladies and gentlemen this site had finally converted me. I didn't doubt the story before I read the comments. Seems something is missing. There has to be some kind of indication during the year period that he was a major jerk and or there were problems in the relationship.

  15. I totally believe this story as a very very similar happened to me when I was dining at elBulli with the illustrious architect/marine biologist Art Vandelay and his embarrassingly shrill fiancé Devil. The only difference was instead of a surprise marriage proposal Art suddenly leaped up and dragged his nut sack across my top lip. His explanation was that he did it to prove he didn't have blueballic plague. He's caring like that.

  16. Well, good job you both kicked the loser to the curb. On the other hand, imagine telling this story while serving as a bridesmaid at their wedding. "I'm so happy your amazing husband publicly dumped me and not three seconds later, that rock was on your finger. I love you both!"


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